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Being a single man- Ecstasy or Agony?
I often hear that we have a patriarchal society. Men control everything in our society, they exercise all the rights without responsibilities and women on the other hand are suppressed in India for centuries. More over being a single woman is scarier situation, but I feel it is completely a different situation and we men have been misled always that it is Male Privilege Society. This is nothing but an illusion and this illusion had been in society for centuries back and still continues.

They have always enjoyed a comfortable and safe life, which men had been earning for them. To continue enjoying this safe and comfortable life woman always showed herself an abla (helpless) and put blame on man for every wrong in their life. The most comic situation is even having every comfort and happiness just because of the men (Father/Brother/Husband/Son), they claim that it is the men who are responsible of every wrong in their life.

Men just because of the illusion that it is his world and he is ruling accept all the allegations and never realize that this is all done to make him believe that before taking any step he only have to think of the welfare of the woman included in his life.

Even the decisions to live your own life in your own way are not welcomed if they are not included a woman in them. Being single woman is a bold decision and it is being empowerment of the women, but being single as man is being called commitment phobic, being gay, being coward. 

I was once told by a man that “a man does not get respect from the society after a certain age if he is single”. This is not his personal thought and this has the society or I would prefer saying a society which gets run by women only gives actually man this in reality.

I do not want to go in this that whether men ruling or women but I surely want to share few things of my own experience. I have noticed that, even I have been told that it is a Male Privilege Society and being a man I have all the rights. But in reality it is nothing like that I have to face lots of nonsense questions everyday being a single man and they only do not come from the oldies, so that we can tag them as backwards.

Sometime these types of questions come from people of my age like, “Why don’t I get married and settle down?” In sarcastic way “Is everything ok with me?” These type of questions prove me that men should get married and take burden of a woman otherwise people do not really take you as a man. I may be wrong but I personally feel that woman do not face this kind of question if they do not marry.

At least a woman does not have to get married to prove her fitness like man has to do. This happens if you have never married but it does not get changed if you have married and now separated. Man gets tagged as loser and have to face so many things like “your wife left you, was this because you were not able to keep her happy” in very sarcastic way.

Women have not left men with the choice to live their life on their wishes. Men have to get certified from the women on every level of life, like when kid he has to be a good son, later a god brother and then a good boy friend, a good husband, good father, a good father in law and so on. The most pathetic is they certify a man with their very best certification called a gentleman. You have to do everything which they think is right and delight them by few rules to become a gentleman like:

  1. Holds open doors for women

  2. Helps women into and out of their seats

  3. Is always the one to pay for a date

  4. Never rushes or hurries a woman or makes her feel uncomfortable

  5. Never gets overly emotional or upset

  6. Never does anything to hurt a woman

I don’t know what all other men think about these rules but for me these rules have nothing to do with gentleman but more like to make you a slave.

Women have the right to live breaking social boundaries, but a man does not have that choice. He must have to get certified from a woman for sure. They first make you believe that you are nothing without a girlfriend or a wife. The day you get one she make you believe that you have to live the life she has chosen for you.

The situation gets worst when a man tries to come out of a relationship. If it is marriage he gets a full package of matrimonial criminal cases and if it is 'live-in' relationship it gets converted into rape on the pretext of marriage.

Editorial NOTE: This article is categorized under Opinion Section. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of In case you have a opposing view, please click here to share the same in the comments section.
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