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Can baldness and acne be home wreckers?
Everyone wishes for a picture-perfect future, and marriage plays an important part in that dream. But issues, minor as they may be, such as baldness and acne, can be home wreckers in some of the fat and not-so-fat Indian weddings - more before than after.

RECENTLY ONE of my very dear friends backed off from her marriage when she got to know that the groom in question was epileptic and had concealed it from her. This was a very natural, middle class, arranged Bengali wedding and I still remember her first words to me after the incident, “Why didn't he trust me and just tell me his problem.” While epilepsy is a serious concern, marriages in India break at the slightest pretext.


Marriages in India are curious events where families get to know each other and life-long relationships are built. Arranged marriages are fragile where even the smallest of problems is enough to break off a prospective nuptial. Many practical shortcomings in a person, for example short height, the colour of the skin, and problems with the skin, can lead to people rejecting a perfect match. We have seen numerous adverts in the matrimonial sections of the papers where different demands are made of a perfect partner. Acne and baldness seem to be another common home wrecker or so some thinks.

While these two problems can be easily mended by proper medication Shashwati Bhattacharya feels, “marriage is a lifelong commitment and on top of that arrange marriage is like getting into an unknown territory with no maps. So if someone is marrying through this system, the first thing for the selection process is atleast to like the person. Baldness or acne both can cause problems with that. I have not heard any specific case where marriages have not happened because of that but certainly this can play in the psyche.” After all who doesn't want their better half to be beautiful and charming. However, Wahid feels that the matter of the heart goes deeper than the skin or the scalp. He says, “If I love someone, I would definitely not leave that person for if she gets acne or go bald.”

"Issues such as skin problems and lack of hair and other associated bodily issues can be problematic both before and after marriage - more crucially before marriage as in some cases objections are raised by both the groom's side as well as the bridegroom's side including by themsleves. Post-marriage, one generally copes with these issues unless of course they are rounded up with other issues to create difficulties," said Thomas Kurien from Gurgaon.

Sudipta Sengupta however feels that it is important for the partners to groom themselves. In a candid reply he says, “I haven't heard of cases where nuptial ties were broken off because somebody was bald or had developed a particular physical deformity due to genetic or lifestyle habits. But having said that looking good obviously plays a key role in relationships - professional or personal. We may not accept it on the face but we all know that looks matters. I remember reading a counsellor's report who mentioned that the spark in marriage dies down because the partner stop taking care of his/her looks. So its important but people surely do not get separated because of it."

Shaymalee Maitra (name changed), whose boyfriend suddenly got a condition whereby his hair was falling was distressed when it happened but she did not leave him simply because of that. He is now proudly bald and she has no qualms about it. When asked she said, “Initially as you know I was concerned but eventually how does it matter. I was in love with the person not his hair but I don't think the case would have been same with an arrange marriage situation.” Alekya Bolla, who is happily married, feels that looks are alright but they remains very superficial and not many think of it as such a problem. She says, “Before marriage people can be choosy but acne or baldness cannot be enough to break a marriage.”

 


Editorial NOTE: This article is categorized under Opinion Section. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of merinews.com. In case you have a opposing view, please click here to share the same in the comments section.
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