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'Chaomean' - the taste of India
Chowmin - a Chinese fast food is very much loved in India. It is one of favorite dishes of kids, youth and adults alike. Travel throughout India and you will definitely find a restaurant or road side hawker selling delicious chowmin dishes.

FEW WEEKS back a Khap panchayat of xyz village made the news in newspapers, TV and on the Internet by saying that chowmin is responsible for the rape and sexual harassment crimes in India. They advocated a complete ban on chowmin in India.

Their logic was that chowmin is responsible for the production of harmones responsible for the sexual urge. They were not wrong and their logic too was very solid to justify the responsibility of the chowmin for rape and sexual harassment.

Actually, we Indians failed to understand what these intellectual people were talking about. They were actually talking about the Chaomean, which is very common and can be found everywhere in India. The chaomean is not only responsible for the rape and sexual harassment but it also responsible for the other crimes like corruption and looting activities.

These days India is flooded with chaomean, because mean people have created chaos in every sphere of life too. The personal life of everyone is in chaos. The families are in chaos. The society is in chaos. And the whole country is in chaos.

In Bollywood when the actors or actresses don’t succeed in their life, they go to astrologers and take suggestions from them to improve their life and achieve success in their chosen field of acting. The most common suggestion the astrologers suggest is to either insert an additional alphabet in their name or remove extra alphabets from their names. Like Sunil Shetty has become Suneil Shetty.

Similarly, the man and woman of India have transformed themselves from man to mean and woman to womean.

Now, you will say that why only “e” has been used while we could have used other alphabets. This is because in today's Internet age everything has become electronic. We have e-commerce, e-governence, e-payment etc. So, “e” has made inroads in our life and has become a part of it.

Therefore, the man has became mean and the woman has became womean. The gentleman and gentlewoman too have become gentlemean and gentlewomean. No one has been spared by the disease of meanness. The diseases of meanness have engulfed everyone.

We, the mean people of India have created chaos everywhere. In fact these days India is celebrating a big Chaomean festival and whole of India has been transformed into a big chaomean mela. This chaomean mela has numerous stalls; some selling products and some are selling their services. It is up to you what you buy from them.

The stall of neta is selling chaomean of politics, which they have cooked in the temple of democracy. They are playing their own music at high pitch. And in the middle of the music they are shouting at the top of their voice.

The mean people behind the stall of petroleum ministry are shouting at the top of their voices and yelling “Gas kit le lo, Gas kit le lo”.

One person curiously queried how he can use the gas kit. Prompt came the reply: “Connect the pipe of this gas kit behind your back, whenever you release methane gas from your stomach, the gas kit will store it. We are giving this as substitute for non-subsidiary gas cylinders.”

In, the mela, Arvind Kejriwal is also shouting in his stall, saying: “Come on Come on! Watch the nude netas. Though they have worn clothes but with my magic wand you can still see them nude. They have shamelessly removed the clothes of ethics, morality and integrity. They have become ethical adult stars. Come on Come on Watch them”. “Oh,my aam admi, come on come on watch the ethical adult stars of India. They are without the clothes of ethics, morality and integrity.”

While Kejriwal is playing his own music and calling the people to come and watch the nude netas, the netas in their stall are not only smiling but also laughing. They too are shouting at the same time; they are laughing too. They are saying: “Oh, Arvind Kejriwal, where is the aam admi? We can’t see any aam admi in your stall”. “Look here we have created pickles, jam and chutney out of these mango people and have vaccum packed them in packages built of cash. Eating chaomean with pickles, jam and chutney makes it more delicious and tasty.”

And Anna Hazare too is singing a song, "Kahan gayein wo Lokpal ke din, Jab dharne pe baithe the na tum bin”. He is singing this song in weeyog of Arvind Kejriwal. Some times, he shouts at the top of his voice too, "Lokpal Le lo, Lokpal Le Lo”.

Our PM too is singing, “FDI aa Rahi hai, Mandi Bhaga Rahi hai”, then he switches to another song, “Aayegi aayegi ayegi, FDI India mein Ayegi”.

And the opposition parties in the stall are too singing the songs. Shushma Swaraj is singing the song too while pointing her finger at our PM, “Jayegi Jayegi Jayegi teri kursi tere haath se jayegi”.

As no one supported Mamta Banerjee in her no confidence motion on FDI, she is singing, “Jedi koi dakshe kiyo na ashe, tomi aakla chalo re. Tomi ekla chalo ekla chalo ekla chalo re.”

And Baba Ramdev too is singing the song in his stall. He is singing his favourite song, “Kale Dhan wale, Kala Dhan La, Bharat mein le ke aa”.

There is a stall of CBI too. Their sign board reads: “Chaomean & Bakra Institute”. They are selling chaomean made of bakras, which they have caught in various scandals and scams.

And the stall of CAG is selling round chaomean made of telecom spectrum and coal. Some of the officials are busy in writing zeros everywhere. Whoever went to their stall, their personnel came out with a lump of coal and started to paint him/ her with zeros all over his/ her body.

Upon query by someone, they chuckled: “Zero is the invention of India and we have perfected the art of using zeros anywhere and everywhere”. Then they started singing the song in chorus “Hans chuge ga dana tinka, CAGa moti khaye ga”.

The aam admi, which has been transformed into pickles, jam and chutney is confused as everyone is shouting in the big chaomean mela; he cannot figure out what they are trying to say. So, they are behaving like deaf, dumb and blind people.

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