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Unjust Humanity
Virag
Common 'Man' is so very vulnerable 09 December, 2013
It was a cool evening breeze flowing when I was standing and waiting for my friend to arrive, who called me a while back, that he will be coming to see me off. The pleasant weather, the cool evening breeze and the fact that I would be embarking on a journey for the next 2 weeks automatically made me hum some songs. And suddenly I saw an ugly looking female looking obnoxiously at me. She was of the impression I am singing it for her, whereas I had not even noticed her and nor was she noticeable.

But her 2 seconds look towards me sent a chill down my spine. I stopped singing and started thinking. I realized, this stranger female, who has nothing to do with me, carries the power to ruin my life and make me enter into any kind of negotiations with her at this moment. All she needs to do is complain against me saying that I was teasing her singing songs.

And the moment she did that, I would become a criminal. No one would listen to me or my side of the story and whatever story she utters becomes “evidence” for the case that would get filed against me. I would have to run behind courts and police stations, first to secure a bail, then to fight the case and to prove myself innocent for a crime I did not commit.

I would have to spend money behind lawyers, beg before unscrupulous and dishonest agents of the legal system, live a life of a criminal, and compromise my entire life at every step and all this because some obnoxious female did not like me singing.

My passport could be seized and I could be barred from leaving the country as well and for all you know I might also grace the headlines and suddenly the whole discussion would snowball into how “unsafe Women are” and how “bad Men are” and so on and so forth the story goes.

Reverse the situation, the woman humming a song and me complaining against her. Immediately, my counselling would begin trying to convince me that the woman’s intention was not bad, and do I consider myself a hunk or a stud that some female would sing songs for me and there would be complete invalidation, dismissal and mockery of my complaint let alone to say the emotional agony I would go through.

However, coming back to the current incident at hand, it sparks a train of thoughts in me,

1.    What have we done to the men in our society?

2.    How much vulnerable is the common man (the male) in the society?

3.    What kind of fear psychosis men are living in?

4.    How much undeserving power have we given to women in the society?

5.    Where are we heading to as a society?

And when, such is the situation, the statement made by Farooq Abdullah is completely correct and well-placed – “Men do fear of being jailed for talking to a woman”. I completely stand by him and only wish more and more men speak up. The only wrong thing he did was to apologize. There was no need for an apology. It’s high time women learn to take feedback and improve their behavior towards men. We are crossing limits of female pamperment,

The biggest culprit is the media and TRP hungry men like Arnab Goswami.

I want to ask Arnab, who is he to curb free speech?

A man has a right to express himself and Farooq just did that. Why penalize him for that?

Media has no business telling people what to say and what not to say. Their job is to report news; they better stick to that only.

Otherwise, the time is not far when people would stop respecting them. For example, Arnab Goswami, the way he has behaved on news hour on Times Now on 6th December 2013, he has lost the respect of many men in the country. He is now being looked upon as an arrogant, over-confident, non-listening editor who just wants to drive his own agenda in the show. There is a popular saying about Arnab Goswami, he thinks, “The nation wants to know, what he wants the nation to know”. He thinks, he can dictate the thought process of the society with his mannerisms and male hatred.

However, the day is not far when his show “The News Hour” would have a new anchor as Arnab’s high handed behaviour is turning out to be a liability for Times Now.

It's time that the media understands the warning - Mend your ways or pay the price. Stop imposing moral policing onto the society for reasons best known to you. Today, the male is vulnerable and this is the reality. And we all are responsible for this situation.

It’s not a surprise that slowly men will start drifting away from women in order to avoid false, baseless, frivolous and hazardous litigation and social shaming.

The lawmakers, judiciary and the police also have a lesson or two to learn. The famous cases of Tarun Tejpal, Justice A K Ganguly, and Shyam Rajak, the DD Official should act as eye-openers for them. The only solution to this problem is to start recognizing the need for men’s rights movement to be accepted as a mainstream movement and initiate the process of making all laws gender neutral.

Stringent laws will only convert innocent men into criminals and we will see many more Farooq’s asking men to stay away from women for safety. How many Farooq’s are we going to condemn, in order, to suppress such feelings?

Condemning men who express their feelings is a sexist anti-male attitude and should not be encouraged at all. Men must have an unfettered, unobstructed and un-criticized right to express their feelings and if men are complaining about women’s behavior then its time women change their behavior. Shaming and blaming men is not the solution.

This kind of social setup has made men extremely vulnerable and this is not a healthy society to live in. Things must change in the favor of men lest men despise society and women.

About The Author
Virag R Dhulia, a software professional, has been a prominent men's rights activist. He has been engaged in creating awareness about the abuse of men and their families through anti-male and gender biased laws like Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act etc. He has been instrumental in networking with fellow men's rights activist both across India and abroad and has played key roles in organizing events to create awareness about abuse of men by the society. A book titled, 'The Secrets of Manhood' authored by Virag has been published. This book is a collection of short articles which focus on issues and problems faced by men and how men are victims of social stereotypes.
COMMENTS (30)
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First of all, it is not common man who is vulnerable but VIPs like /Asaram, Tejpal, Ganguly, etc. who are more vulnerable. Being a man, I have been told by my male friends of their various extra marital sexual exploits and none of them has been caught. It is VIPs who catch the headlines and not the common man. However, women too are to be blamed for provoking the men including common man with their indecent dresses. The films and TV are responsible for this. Porn stars are becoming film stars and there are frequent news of actresses selling their bodies. So, first of all, the women need to be dressed properly and TV and Films need to change their attitude. In fact, women should be more concerned with raising their children and should not normally work but remain housewives. That way, they can help the nation to have good citizens. Of course, they must be educated to help raise their children properly. And we do need working women in certain fields. We need female nurses and doctors to treat women patients and we need female Police and Revenue officers to deal with women criminals. We also need female teachers to educate girls and small children in a co-educational environment so that there is no fear psychosis of men or women in each others' minds. However, there should be no female babus and clerks or journalists or other female workers. Of course, we would need actresses etc. but they must not act cheaply. Perhaps we would need female judicial officers and lawmakers but none of the women should be employed in BSF or Armed Forces. It would always be best for females to work as housewives and always act decently.
Capt Sharma
I do not see any reason why should feminists rake up a hue and cry against Mr Farooq's observation about state of affairs. NOW these femenizi are throttling the Fundamental Right of Expression. I would have liked, If Mr Farooq had stood his ground. I know, he has less options being a politician. He must seem to be politically correct. With respect to Ms Kiran Bedi's comment , "Men who are sure of themselves will not make such comments. Those who are insecure make such statements,". Ms Kiran Bedi, for once I do not agree with your view point. It is not question of "How sure a man is?"; the question is about , however sure one may be about that female in whose company he is, the man can still not be sure of her motives / hidden agendas .. Who in the whole world be more sure of oneself being a "MAN" than ex-World Boxing Champion Mr Mike Tyson?". He is reported to have said, that he is mortally afraid to be in the company of "Woman" alone anywhere. I am 63 years of age. I have developed a bit of amnesia.There are instances, when I have forgotten to zip up my pant before stepping out. It had happened today also. Walking down the street I realized it. The moment I realized it, I was afraid to touch my zip to pull it up.I was looking for a safe moment when there were no women to pull up my zip, lest some one raises a hue and cry that this old man has touched his private part when I was passing by. I had to go to a desolate spot to correct my mistake.I believe there will thousands nay millions of old men like me , who feel the fear now walking the street. This is the state of affairs to which the feminize supported by mangina men have reduced the social environment to. Just look at what happened to that lawyer in Calcutta other day. wherein a gang of women had caught him by the collar and wanted to take him to Police Station for sexual harassment. He got saved because his wife was nearby and some court clerks were there as witnesses. As an ex police person, you also must be reading news. I am certain you will agree with me that women are not lacking men in the field of crime. And they are abusing the provisions of gender biased laws 498a and DV Act with impunity. My question to all femenize, please before speaking tell me, "Are you fatherless and do not you have any brothers? Or you have had certain issues with them also?"
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