This above statement would make one half of the population groan in bored rejection while another half would almost swoon over the description. And exactly in between is where a rational being like me finds herself stuck.

A dog lover has one philosophy – love me, love my dog! Those who hate it have an equally trite philosophy – Anything that bites you in the leg can’t be less than devil himself. Well, one could see the logic in both the philosophies and that is what is killing me. After a lot of reflection and gentlemanly/womanly pondering over the matter I feel the world is really unfair to minorities – the group to which I belong – of the handful few who though can manage very well to behave sanely whenever a doggy is around, and yet have a soft corner for the poor creature with those sad eyes and appealing look and welcome demeanour and… ahem.

There are the stereotypes well-ingrained in the public psyche – from Jackie Shroff in Teri Meharbaniyaan kinda to rich auntyji with a pooch (Paris Hilton could have been a good example but one could hardly put her in that category) to the blonde who loves her pooch more than the boyfriend hanging around her to Cruella D’ Ville of 101 Dalmations to the neighbourhood uncleji who beats the dog to pulp if it ventures to poo in his area to the ‘daredevil’ kinda who but shivers on sighting a doggy 100 meters away (believe me, I know of one) to all those poor chaps forced to travel in the middle of the night perched atop a scooter as the dog lunges towards their ankles to ‘take a bite’ (this bloke I know, bought a car to avenge the menace on the streets and now gleefully honks his way to home as the dogs go into a helpless barking frenzy) – the list is endless.

But herein comes the dilemma. Torn between the two extremes, made to choose when choice is not an option. For the record I would never like to slurp my coffee with dear Tommy’s tongue also inside the cup but I would surely love to cuddle it and play with it and go for a walk with it. As they say a dog is the best company you can have when you are not in a chatty mood. And I am not talking of the raucous-natured street dogs here.

Maybe the problem is with me. I want to have my dog and flay it too (no offense to animal activists like MG). Anyway my ‘special condition’ has left me with a lot of wisdom. This is how those poor rich NRIs must feel – wanting to live down the Silicon Valley yet not averse to a good ol’ Padma Bhushan from the Bharat sarkar itself!

This is how those Mumbaikars must be feeling – loving amchi Mumbai and yet having nothing against those on the northern side of the state and yet forced to take sides to prove they are the real manoos. Any rationalists out there? Not likely. Doggone it.