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Domestic violence against men
A lot has been said and done about violence against women at the hands of their in-laws and society, however, men are also victims of intense domestic violence! But sadly, the same men fail to acknowledge the need to do something about this.
ASSUMPTIONS AND hidden agendas wherever involved in the foundation and design of any society can lead to serious problems over the years. Being deemed as the protector, the provider and the adventurer, men themselves made the world believe that they cannot suffer. It is not hard to notice, parents telling their son to be like a man, stop crying and learn to do things your own way.


Well, in a way that is good, as it teaches the man to be self-dependent since he has to protect and provide when he grows up. But the imbibitions of this line of thought are so engraved and deep rooted that the man as he grows up almost starts feeling sorry for feeling bad, abused, harassed, tortured. He starts feeling as though he has no right to do so. But that is not a healthy sign. Even psychologists and relationship experts have voiced out their concerns over this behavioral traits of men and have enchanted it umpteen number of times that it is fine to feel bad and share the same and accept that something is bothering them. But sadly enough of it falls on deaf ears due to age-old stereotypes, which are rock-engraved, take centuries of time and loads of sufferings, realisations and metamorphosis to take a new and desired form.


It is not uncommon to see that when a man tries to discuss his problems pertaining to a relationship, he is cornered saying either, “You are a man, stop cribbing like a woman,” or, “She is a woman, it will be like this only.” Such responses have led to the establishment of euphoria in the societal as well as the legislative and the executive ambiance that men do not need anything, they have everything. This was also recently upheld in a judgment by the honorable Delhi High Court, hearing a petition challenging the tenacity of the Domestic Violence Act 2005, citing it as Ultra Vires of Article 14 of the Constitution of India. The petition was dismissed saying the argument held no merit as the court was of the view, “Though men are victims of violence, such incidences are few and far between, thus ruling out the possibility of protection for men from the parliament.” This statement, sadly enough reflects a very bad taste of mind, which though acknowledges the existence of domestic violence against men, but refuses to accept it for the very lack of proper data to substantiate a lesser known claim.


If the data provided by the National Crime Records Bureau is anything to go by, the number of suicides committed by men in the year 2005 and 2006 stands at a staggering figure of 1,50,000, as compared to 50,000 women. Does this not reflect the sorry state of affairs, Indian men are currently in. Of these 1,50,000, 1,08,000 have been suicides by husbands, which is fairly explainable enough as well, as the government that earns 82 per cent of taxes from these men has washed off its hands from this alarming trend, these men have no protection, voice or say.


Men are not only victims of domestic violence, they are victims of misuse of these laws as well. 99 per cent of the cases of domestic violence and dowry harassment filed against men and their families are false and filed with a motive to extort money and unfortunately, the horse-trading goes on in the Temple of Justice and is passed off as women liberation and empowerment of the weaker sex.


All men around the harassed husband try to brainwash and console the man saying the girl needs money, protection, etc. What these men fail to understand here is that there has been a serious role reversal of the perpetrator of violence and the victim of violence, wherein the victim, being hailed as the criminal, is forced to compensate the tormentor, being hailed as the victim. Also these men feel great they are protecting a woman, which is good enough, for if the man is meant to protect, he should protect and feel good about it, but nowhere does it stand justified to protect at the cost of another man. But sadly enough, this trend is catching on slowly. It looks highly delirious for a man to exist in a society suffering from double standards where one judgment speaks of the inability of the ambit of the Domestic Violence Act 2005 to cover men as victims and other one says that incidences of domestic violence being far and few between, men should not expect protection from the parliament.


It is not hard to see the repercussions of such differentiated similarities amongst men, who are now not even refraining from taking the law into their hands by either committing suicide or murder, what with having exasperated with the apathy meted out by the administrators of their own brethren.


Once again this question is put forward to the civil society and the government: Are they ready to accept this trend, wherein cornered men think of snuffing life as the only final solution or do they have the guts and willingness to change the courses of the tides and the winds? I hope some spineless men start developing spines after reading these lines.
Commenting System
COMMENTS (16)
.About Domestic Violence Against Men
.Women living sepretly before four years & after two year .She files Domestic Voilance Act case to harasement for hole family but will do this situation. court not decition yet .
.Everyone knows root cause of nuclear families and disabondence of old parents are somewomen itself who harass exploit and miscommunicate men to do so.I would say maximum number of families suffer more or less due to women either in shape of daughter in law or mother in law.Ultimate sufferers are men who have been given negligible rights and protection I firmly belive that the law should be passed were men are also protected againt abuse voilance and exploitation by women. Most of the Women expect nowadays to dictate terms and make the men as their slaves everybody understan this still nothing has been done. May god bless men.
.Everyone knows root cause of nuclear families and disabondence of old parents are somewomen itself who harass exploit and miscommunicate men to do so.I would say maximum number of families suffer more or less due to women either in shape of daughter in law or mother in law.Ultimate sufferers are men who have been given negligible rights and protection I firmly belive that the law should be passed were men are also protected againt abuse voilance and exploitation by women. Most of the Women expect nowadays to dictate terms and make the men as their slaves everybody understan this still nothing has been done. May god bless men.
.It is really great that now there is some law who can listen to mens too.. But need to more how & where to file case against domestic violence against mens.
.society double standard!
.Agreeed. Its the congress that has always destroyed the nation. Intitially it was increasing reservation more than what Mr M.K.Gandhi prescribed. Then caste based reservation, religion based reservation etc. Then Jammu Kashmir problem, ULFA problems were created during congress reign. These problems are still not solved. Then came the emergency period. THen came the inflation period and india was a poor contry because of the congress regiem. Now the Domestic violence laws. These laws are made for 1. Vote bank politics. 2. So that lawyers and police make money in the name of protecting women. Doing all this these congress led policies are ruining indian families. Remember all these problems have arisen during congress ruling and also that conmgress has ruled for abt 50 years out of 61 years of independence.
.must read
.Mujhe Lagta hai ki is desh mein iktarfa kanoon banane se mahilaoan ka bhala nhi hoga. Ye Vastvikta hai ki jin mahilaoan ke saath VIOLENCE ho rahi hai, unme se jyadatar kanoon ki sharan mein nahi jaati. Lekin kayee mahilayein is kanoon ka durupyog karte hue ise hathiyaar ke roop mein istemal kar rahi hain. Itna hi nahi 498A aur Domestic Violence Act jaise kanoon mein yadi jhooth bolne vaali mahila ke liye sajaa ka pravdhaan rakh diya jaaye to nishchit roop se iska durupyog kam ho jayega. Saath hi kanoon banane waloan ko Husband ki pratadna ke liye bhi kanoon mein pravdhan rakhna chahiye, anyatha HATYA aur AATMHATYA ke case badte jayenge.
.This is good article reg domestic violence act. The Court of Metropolitan Magistrate (Ms. Ravinder Bedi, Patiala House, Delhi) passed an order in favour of me and against of my wife for Domestic Violence in the date of 5.12.2007. I think this order is useful for all agrieved persons. If u r interested the copy, plz ask me on my Email dr_harisharora@yahoo.com or call 09868853172.
2 Replies
Dr. Harish, I have been charged with DV Act last week. I am already facing legal cases of 125 since last 4 years. Now DV is filed after 5 years of separation. Can you pls send me your judgement to me at ischetan@yahoo.com
Hello, Dr. Harish, Your DV judgment can help me a lot. Kindly can you have it sent at virag.v@gmail.com
.Women have started misusing laws meant to proect them by filing false case against innocent men.Not only dowry harrasement,they file false cases of sexual harrasement/molestation 354/506/509 against their superior male officers to get even on being questioned on being indiscipline.Unfortunately the police makes money out of all this and we have so called femenist trying to gain poplarity.The bias is against men clearly.The actually oppressed women rarely get to make complaints.
.My wife beats me every day with anything she can lay her hands on. I just suffered a beating for nearly an hour just now with punches to my face and attempted strangulation and bruises all over. Please help if you can. This has been going on for the last three years.
1 Replies
Please give us your contact details. Or contact me at virag.v@gmail.com
.This Article is very pertinent and reflects the misery and distress of numerous straightforward men who are facing enormous torture and harassment from their wives. It seems that if your wife is not a reasonable person she has the licence to make the life of a man worse than hell, mis treat his family and yet mis-use the women oriented laws to terrorise and blackmail the husband. To the extent, that even if the wife is accused of "abetment to suicide" or "murder" of her husband or mother-in-law, yet the wife is still entitled to seek maintenance u/s 125 of CrPC or Domestic Violence Act. There is a DIRE Need for some amendments in the current laws so that there are exemptions in the application of Law so that law abiding and simple men & their families do not have to suffer at the hands of criminal minded women who marry just to satisfy their lust of money. Men need to stand up and come out in the open and share their problems and create a platform for their protection. regards Mani
.The same needs to happen to all the politicians, lawyers and police official's families and the Judges the spineless ones - every single one is spineless - chk even the 1st lok adalat conducted by the Supreme Court the AHoles presided by the Biggest Hole CJI Balkrishnan which had a family case the husband was given a barted option to forget his child and withdraw his actual case of life threats and attacks (including pouring boiling water on his face and body, police complaints, photos name any kind of evidence all exist)in its place they would relieve him off all the fake case of DV and Dowery Harassment - all the women in their family needs to end their lives and these Judges need to be made to beat flour, count bars, sleep in between cockroaches and use the stinking toilets - any may God deliver his Justice, for using the common men's hard earned money and roaming around in Carollas and buying things of their bribes and yet mercilessly postponing, prolonging the legal battles proving their sadism!!
.Excellent article... Our nation is run by Eunuchs, i think it wl be abusing Eunuchs by calling our lawmakers so. I truely believe that terrorists/ultras are not born but they are the result of suppression and harassment of general masses by people in power. The recent cases of spouse killing n committing suicide by men are the clear signs of water going above the head. More n more such cases wl be seen in future if such biased laws are not amended. More n more innocent people wl take law in their hands if present scenario is not changed.
.very good article. it exposes the real fact. unless the laws are justifiable excercised and unused laws are removed, nothing good will happen to men.
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