Perhaps, it’s love-at-first-sight struggling model Kalpana ghumao-ing her jadoo ki chhari; a streetsmart talkathon champ who has a thing for social work, pretends to be Air Voice owner Sanjay Singhania’s girlfriend on one hand and jumps at the prospect of marrying her struggling model boyfriend Sachin (who, of course, is Sanjay Singhania himself, surprise! surprise! Only she never finds out, poor girl) on the other, dreams of owning three ambassadors (seriously, man, those brutes are still manufactured?) of her own some sweet day, and frequents Cheenjpokhli gallis and other such dubiously named places and all. So we have our pint-sized powerhouse hero travelling around on autos (definitely not 2-stroke ones!), trying to pay for golgappe with his Bank of America card and turning up in a limo for an event at Kalpana’s employer agency pretending to be himself; all for the sake of looove.
A couple of silly songs later, a business deal goes through and he has to leave on the pretext of “maa bimar hai, gaon me zameen bechni hai, etc etc”, Kalpana seizes the chance to land herself in trouble through her foolhardily noble ways, mobile phones are left where they should not have been left and they ring when they should not ring. The heroine gets stabbed even as the hero is kicking down the door, heroine falls into hero’s arms and whispers the password into his ears, then hero gets whacked, hero-heroine stretch out their hands for each other’s across the floor – (no luck darlings… the living room’s turned out to be too big, it seems) -- very teary end, very silent audience.
Back to the present and Amir Khan’s famous Ghajini mowed-lawn hairdo. Less restricted by his retrograde amnesia than you’d expect, he now spends his nights in the same apartment that he has managed to turn into some sort of MI headquarters; has instructions for himself imprinted all over his body and his walls, goes about taking snaps and killing people (after he has killed them he writes on their snaps things like “over” and “done”…real cute!)… and still travels by public transport. He also stuffs cops into his closets and seems to have developed Wolverine immunity.
Enter sultry med student Jiah-whatshername-Khan who dances in scraps of clothing at her college events, goes poking her nose in places it doesn’t belong, doesn’t think twice about trespassing and stealing private stuff, lands Sanjay in even more trouble than he is in and then insists on fishing him out of it. Ghajini, who just happens to be a public figure, is tracked down (one wonders why it took so long, in spite of the memory loss bit)… the bad guys are taken care of with a lot of punches and rods and clanging metals… then of course Sanjay has to suffer one of his : poof-wtf-am-I::, but only after you’ve grown tired of expecting it… but fear not, Rab reigns supreme here as well, so the bad guy dies anyway and the good guy lives through all his hard times and troubles and makes it to a very Forrest Gump – like end scene. (No, his memory doesn’t return miraculously, but that would be unnecessary and we’re all the better off for it.)
Asin is a seasoned actress; you see it in her expressions, her actions, her voice, her moves…she is funny, warm, coy, scared, etc etc when she needs to be funny, warm, coy, scared, etc etc respectively. Jiah serves her purpose, looks good, but sounds bad… her voice doesn’t match up. Ghajini looks, talks and behaves like a crude mob boss, and if that’s all he is meant to be, too bad. A few notches more of serpentine mystery, terror and frostiness about him would have been great… in fact, Amir would have been a better Ghajini than Ghajini (Pradeep Rawat) himself.
Here’s to the hope that the metal rods stop ringing in your head once the show is over!