‘Is such risk worth taking?’ I finally asked,
‘What risk?’ He countered ‘It’s good to have free road & we will be home in couple of hours!’
‘I’m asking from the angle of extremist domination & threat to you from them’ I clarified.
‘Threats are always there’ he saidplainly& asked me‘should I stop moving & functioning as because there are threats?’
‘Not exactly!’ I said. ‘But one should have protection, preventive measures, avoiding unnecessary risk’.
‘That’s right!’ He said confidently‘I take all possible measures to keep me safe. Perhaps that’s why I am still surviving!’
‘How is that true if you decide to move in a night when movement even in day is considered risky?’I disagreed.
He looked in to my eyes & asked ‘Are you really afraid?’
‘Shouldn’t I’ I replied.
He laughed. Then he said in a consolation tone ‘don’t be afraid, my friend, none will ever expect that I would be travelling this night. Thus my enemies aren’t aware of this night-journey, hence we are safe. I would only be in danger if my program is known to anybody or on expected lines!’
His reply didn’t satisfy me. I said ‘What if by coincidence we met them on road?’
‘Coincidences are always rare might be 1 in 1 lac or even more!’ he argued
‘May be a coincidence but what if they find us suddenly or we fell in to their trap?’ I was on insisting mode.
‘Such coincidence may also possible even in day time! Why should I go through so many ifs & buts?’ He was defiant.
‘Well in day time at least there is scope for others to save you?’ I wanted to put forth my point.
He again looked at my face. Perhaps he was gauging how disturbed I was. Then he suddenly asked to his body guard ‘Mr.Tudu? Tell me honestly, if by any chance I am to be attacked, what would you do? Will you protect yourself first or stand in front of me to save me?’
Mr.Tudu remained quiet for some time & then said ‘Sir, I will protect myself first & then I will try to save you.’
‘What are you saying? I was really angry ‘You are the body guard, if you protect yourself, who protect my friend?’
‘I would protect sir, provided I am protected first.’ Mr. Tudu replied plainly ‘if I stand in front of sir immediately, first I will die & any type of defense to sir would be destroyed. Thus sir would be defenseless after I down. On the other hand if I quickly cover myself & start firing, their attention will be diverted & there would be a fighting chance for survival of sir’.
‘If you don’t able to get any cover or protection’ I asked impatiently.
‘I would have to surrender immediately; there is no point to do suicide in defending indefensible!’He said without any hesitation. I was really very disturbed & started to realize that I am really an idiot to be a party to this madness.
‘Don’t be so disturbed’ my friend started explaining ‘Mr.Tudu is right as it is I who decide how & when to move. He is just there if possible to save me. Practically I am always all alone in defending myself. In fact everybody in this world is always alone in defending themselves!’
‘Isn’t it called also suicide?’ I was really angry.
‘Well don’t be serious, if such things happened, you will not be harmed. The extremist will kill me, not you or Mr.Tudu!’ he told smilingly though I felt he was mocking me in reality.
‘This is not a time for joke.’ I replied sternly
He stopped for couple of minute & then started saying in a philosophical mode ‘I understand, you are seriously disturbed on possible attack, deaths & other serious consequences. But I believe if I am destined to die, I’ll die definitely. It doesn’t matter how the death comes, may it be from extremists, or from accident or in any form. The bottom line is, we all are mortal & death has to come at a certain moment as destined. If destined now, my death will not be dependent on anybody forget about this present extremist threat. On the other hand if I am destined to live, none can hand me a death!’
‘What you want to say?’ I queried as his words were going above my head.
‘See, many a time from a severe disaster such as earthquake, Tsunami, flood, super-cyclone etc, we find some are surviving miraculously. Even there are instances of few day old babies recovered live from piles of debris post earth quack. On the other hand we surprise to see a strong & healthy man dying while even sleeping. We call surviving as miraculous & such demises as mysterious. Fact is everybody is destined up to what extent he to live & when he to die. If one has destined to live, he will always survive miraculously but if one has destined to die, his death can’t averted by any means. This is eternal truth & we should realize it. If realized then at least one need not to pass through tensions, fear & stress!’ He then saw my face perhaps to understand whether I was getting his point or not though I tried my best to make my face remains plain & blank. He then continued ‘I preach this logic, hence I never worry. You people say me I am ‘Dushahashi’, risk taking, dangerously daring even suicidal. But fact remains that I want to enjoy every bit of my life doing good Karma. Karma is in my control not the death, so why should I be worried on a matter that’s not in my control?’
I was still silent & trying to understand his point. I felt that he was not very wrong, but apprehension of death is always fearful to anybody. However I still asked ‘What if you are destined to die in very short period?’
Though I asked unmindfully but immediately I realized that I put forth an inappropriate question. I wanted to correct it but before I say anything he said ‘Do you want a frank answer?’
I didn’t say anything but my facial expression was saying yes.
‘If I am destined to die now, I would like to enjoy balance moments of life & the upcoming death also!’
‘This too heavy’ I disagreed ‘How can one enjoy death!’
‘Yaar! We are to die some day. With very optimistic estimate we may die at old age or very old age. That time when death visits us, we may not be in a state to understand what death is. We might be unconscious or in coma & never realize what is the experience of death. Thus if I am destined to die at this age, I would be happy that at least I can experience what death is?’
Though he perhaps was mocking me to provoke me, but I did feel that he had strong points.
‘If you die, what about your family, parents? Can you enjoy your death leaving your family, kith & kin grieving?’ I asked just to get a clarification whether he is just lecturing or saying with full conviction.
‘Come on man! I am not committing suicide’ He was point blank ‘I am talking if death is coming to me as destined. My family, parents & all others have their destinies. For a brief period there may be vacuum but world moves on & their individual destiny takes them on!’
We finally reach his house safely. However his logic had a tremendous effect on my thought process. Worrying for death always weakens us. However I can’t agree to his over-confidence (as per my personal assessment) but given his logics I can’t disagree either!