Generally in a home woman is subjugated and controlled by man; in a typical Indian home, she is controlled in childhood by father, in youth by husband and in old age by son. This is a total system of oppression designed by society-makers for male-dominated society.
Here women are oriented from childhood to sacrifice for other members, especially for husband and children for making a peaceful happy home. Her identity is made totally dependent on identity of her husband or son. She is known as wife of Sri this and that or mother of Sri that and that. Through her whole life she lives for husband and children and every day she dies a silent death in her inner self. This is a painful existence and a loss of her resource.
In many other countries also same system of oppression is present, even in Western and American countries. For example, in the US on an average about fifty percent marriages end in divorce. In Canada and the UK also, it is near fifty percent; and it is marked that more than fifty percent of divorces are pursued by women only! Though western countries demand a high rank in Human development index but this fact suggests oppression is present there as well. Form of that violence may be different, it may be not so loud like that of India and eastern countries but violence on women is present in their society also. Should women get a place of love and satisfaction at her home she would not leave it to apply for divorce!
So the problem of unequal relationship and lost home is a universal phenomenon, observed throughout the world. Problem is very open and it stares directly into our eyes now. So the question rises how serious are we to address this issue?
Western and American women demand their individual identity and freedom and break marriage that suffocates them; this cannot be said that they live happily as single or divorced woman or after remarriages and their children spend a happy childhood, still they take the risk and come out of the bondage that suppresses them. Number of poor families headed by single or divorced women is very high there.
Since we have lesser home breakings we cannot say in our country women are more tolerant than others; here this domination on women is so absolute and it is so much injected in the habit of both men and women that it has become a tradition obeyed by families’ generation after generations. Thus many times on the outer crust it seems like a peaceful family only.
But a closer study of these families, their rates of unrest and quarrels, their physical ill health, mental diseases borne out of stress and strain of relationships, all say that there is something rotting in the family itself.
In Hindu marriage- mantra, oath is taken like this: “Jading hridayang taba tadidang hridayang mama” (the heart of you and me is thus united in same and one), …yes, this is the emotional bond that creates a happy home, but rarely people remember or follow this oath; they concentrate more on gaining money, sex, security and service from the partner - the main goal of mutual love, dignity, sacrifice, cooperation and understanding remains obscure and other agendas take the prime space. Thus they start to use and exploit each other rather to love each other. And in this exploitative relationship in the family man excels over the woman!
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