Keeping romance alive once baby arrives

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mini aggarwal

22 May, 2010

You snuggle together, whispering sweet nothings in his ears; you can get enough of his smell, his gaze, and his sky-blue eyes. Remember when you felt like that about your husband?

YOU SNUGGLE together, whispering sweet nothings in his ears; you can get enough of his smell, his gaze, and his sky-blue eyes. Remember when you felt like that about your husband? If you're like the vast majority of new moms, you're probably directing most of your emotional energy these days toward your newest little love. But between the baby-caring, your post-baby life moments with your partner start losing its identity. As a result, the sheer exhaustion of taking care of a newborn, you may start to look at your partner as the nice, supportive friend who just helps you to nurture the baby even at your bed. Romance and sex fall way down and the list of things left to do - "Buy new Baby Diapers" and "Look up recipe for Ceralac milk".

Well, let's turn that list upside down. Many other loving moments on your bed diminish with time. Making time for husband after baby is of equal importance. In fact, your sex life hasn't changed forever just because of a baby. You should not ruin your marriage by having a baby, but it's definitely time to try new tactics. Take the initiative and plan regular dates for the two of you. Have a specific restaurant, movie, or outing in mind so she has one less thing to plan. This may seem like a lot of effort. Keep reminding her of the things that you both used to do before having a baby. On the same side, Treat her like a goddess, reassure her that she's a wonderful mom, and let her know that you appreciate the relentless demands of parenting a baby. Also, giving your wife more time to herself will help replenish her energy.

“Keeping the romance alive in your marriage will not only make you a happier person, it will make you a better parent, says Shruti Khatri, PhD. "The happiest, most well-adjusted children come from a home where Mommy and Daddy truly love each other," she points out. And that affection doesn't just sustain itself - you need to stoke the fires every so often to keep it going. “My husband is more concerned about our baby than me, which makes my married life stronger” says Yashi Gupta, mother of 3 year old kid.

"You can't just wait for the pleasure fairy to come sprinkle some dust and have all those sensual moments magically return," says Rihana, a marriage counselor. "You have to work on it. Pick up some soft moments and schedule in time to take care of your sensual life. If you have time to walk the dog, fold laundry, and cook dinner, you have the time for a real romantic encounter." She says, “part of being a parent is teaching your children about relationships and how people love each other,". Modeling a happy relationship is one of the best gifts you'll ever bestow.