Actually, we Indians are very much fond of our sankriti and we have been faithfully loyal to our sanskriti. For the past sixty years since independence we have kept alive our sankriti of looting the nation through plethora of scams, scandals, crime and corruption. In fact, we have fixed this sankriti with Anabond adhesives to our hearts.
The ecosystem and psychoshpere of India is very conducive and comfortable for looting activities. As it is the duty of every Indian to serve the country by looting the natural resources and people of the nation, we are presenting to you some formula on how to Loot and Grow Rich.
There are many schools of loot, like: School of Crime, School of Civilized Loot, School of Controversy, School of Chamcha Giri, School of Neta Giri, etc., but we will cover only two of them. One school of loot is: School of Crime, and another School of Loot is Civilized way of looting. The civilized way of looting is further sub divided into two thoughts of schools, one is through commercial means and other is through non-commercial means.
Here in part one we will cover the school of crime, and in the second part will be cover the school of civilized Looting.
School of Crime:
Crime : Crime is every Indians' duty to commit. So, don’t be afraid or ashamed of committing any crime. Committing a crime projects you as an adult and separates you from kids. There are many sorts of crimes you can commit like, shop theft, extortion, murder, rape, smugling, gold chain snatching, ATM loot and Bank Loot, etc.
Don’t be afraid of anyone, nor even of the police, because police have many genuine works to do - like harassing the nice people, collect chanda from poor hawkers and rickshawalas.
Criminals are hot property for them, because for them they are the goose who lay golden eggs. Criminals are a boon for lawyers and the whole judicial system. Criminals are a much respectable and adorable kind of people in India. They are a bread and butter for many people who work in courts.
So, just commit a crime, prove that you have become an adult and you have the guts to do any criminal activity. Being a criminal has many benefits. You get good coverage in newspapers, TV channels, etc. You become the talk of the town. Everywhere people discuss about you. In fact benefits are much than listed. To know more just commit a crime.
But, be sure not to get caught by the police very soon. The more it takes for the police to catch you, more hot you become. Remember that someday you have to get caught by the police because you have to go to the university to get a certificate in your field.
Jail: Jail is your grooming university where you sharpen your raw criminal skills. In India, jails are the real universities where you learn from your senior mentors. In the west, think and grow rich type people go to Harvard, MIT and Oxford. Similarly, but we have universities for loot and grow rich type of people with the name Yerawada Jail, Ghaghidih Jail and Central Jail. These are our Harvards, MITs, Oxfords, etc.
This is the place where you will be groomed in the art of looting the nation and will be awarded certificates, diplomas, degrees and Ph.Ds in crime and corruption. Once you are out from the jail, your personality becomes star studded. The aura of your personality now spreads everywhere. Everyone notices you, and you are also seen as respectable person in the society. Now you have become a Dabangg person.
Repeat : Repeat the steps 1 and 2 and finally you will receive a Ph.D. in your chosen field of crime.
Show Interest to Reform: After you have repeated entry into the jail, show false interest to reform. Many reforming activities are carried out in the jail. So, join one of them. You can also join Art of Living Classes – yes, these are available in jail also.
Taking classes of reforming activities will allow you to win the sympathy of the people. The bholuram people perceive you as someone who wants to change and wants to return to the normal society.
Seek publicity: While you are taking classes to reform yourself, bring out a publicity campaign in the newspaper, which is widely read by the people. The people of India are bholu rams and can be easily blackmailed and made to believe that you are really reforming yourself.
In the meantime, help the needy person. Direct your battery of chaplus to find the needy person. Someone who needs money, someone who needs blood. Just help couple of people with your money which you have had already looted in your previous criminal activities.
Hire a PR agent and make headlines about your reforming activities and about your help, which you would have provided to the couple of needy people. Next day, the people will read your story in the newspaper, and will also display sympathy towards you.
Show intention of join a political party: After you have become a shining star personality, the party leaders from different parties will start approaching you to join their party. Some will do fake drama that they won’t allow any criminal to join their party. But, don’t worry there is also a solution for that. So, what if they don’t allow you to join their party, they won’t stop your kith and kin from joining their party.
Even those parties who will make drama of not allowing you to join their party, do secretly wish that you or somebody from your family should join them. This is because of two reasons, one reason is that you have become a star personality and the second reason is that you will bring funds into their party. So, join the party which allows you to get into their fold and coerce your kith and kin to join that party, which does not want you to get into their party. This way you will have multiple high level contacts, which you will need in the pursuit of your looting mission.
Join the political party: When you have finally prepared to join the party, then do so in a grand way. Bring together and assemble your followers and even induct new ones. Inducting new followers is not a big deal. Every one is hungry for power and identity. Promise them both and they will easily become your followers.
Make the party joining activity as the joining ceremony. Invite media, organize press conference, give lofty speeches. Before joining the party, fill every ad billboard with your big poster and also mention about your party joining ceremony. Fix big poster cut out on every corner of the street, road and public places. Create an image that a god send neta has arrived on the earth for the well being of the people.
Start a legal business: After you have etched out an gallant personality for yourself, now you have arrived at a point where you can start out a legal business with your previously earned wealth. Start a construction business, mining business, contracting business, general order supplier, etc. But remember to at least register minimum of three businesses in the name of your different near and dear ones. You can also start the business in the name of your servant, driver or house maid. You can even start numerous business entities, which you can show that they are investors of in your business. If you have been reading the newspapers daily or watching the television daily, then you will find many examples.
Win government contracts: You might be thinking that government awards contracts through tender, so in that way how you will win contracts. Don’t worry every problem has a solution in this world; every law can be bent in your favor. Winning a government is not a difficult job for you now, as you have already built up contacts within the various political parties and the government offices.
Although the government contracts are given out through tenders, but greasing the palm of the government officials as well as to the line up Neta, your tender will definitely be passed. The tenders of your competitors will be rejected on various grounds - technical, financial, documents missing or not submitted, etc.
Government never buys goods and services at the market price; it often buys goods and services at twice or thrice the market prices. On road contracts you can mint lot of money. Build low quality roads; this will help you make lots and lots of money.
Do some charity to win hearts of people: To hide your black deeds, keep white washing yourself with your charity work. Hither thither keep doing your charity work, and present yourself in such a way that if you would not have helped the needy person, the needy person would have ended his life. Project yourself as a god send person, - appointed to serve the needy, but your ultimate goal should be to loot the country and its people.
Loot as much as you can: Loot as much as you can with both hands and your head in the looting activity. There is no need to worry because people revere and respect those who have immense money and wealth. It does not matter how you have made it, but, it matters that you have it enough to make others envy and feel jealous of you.
By now your contacts with high commands of every party have become solid. Now, you have plenty of opportunities. Snatch the agricultural land of the poor farmers, and if they oppose, then with the help of high commands of the party, administration and law and order officials declare them as Naxalites, terrorists or militants – basically whatever terminology suits you.
In fact you can loot your state and country with both the hands. You can even swim and take bath in your looted wealth. Now, you have become a respectable man in the society, who everyone in the society reveres.