Maintaining age difference for a blissful marriage

In ancient times, both the bride and the groom practiced Brahmacharya till marriage, which made all the difference. That provided clarity of thought and expression as well as virility. The aim of marriage was clear to both - procreation.

CJ: Chitranjan Sawant

Sat, Oct 31, 2009 12:59:58 IST

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MARRYING AFTER a hectic courtship? Well, both the husband and wife have a joint vision of what life in Grihasth Ashram is likely to be. Though they have many dream for a happy, settled life together, he fact remains that their age would likely be the same and their life experience till then would consist of school and college.

The government, after a discussion with the physicians and marriage counsellors arrived at the magic figure of 21 as the appropriate age to marry and five as the difference in age between the hubby-to-be and his sweetheart. She should be his junior to let him boss over her taking an advantage of his seniority.

In the Vedic vivah in India and elsewhere, it is recommended that a wife should be a junior. The bride may be 16 or what but, the groom should only get married after completing his education in a Gurukul; a process tha takes at least 25 years.

When I mentioned this in a circle of teenagers and elicited their opinion, one chirpy little thing twitted"if I am sixteen I am not going to marry an old fellow who is 25 and waste my life. If I talk of cheese, he will talk of chalk. The marriage will be on the rocks before you can say a word."

How did they manage in ancient times, I thought aloud. Well, both the bride and the groom practiced Brahmacharya then, which made all the difference. That provided clarity of thought and expression as well as virility in bed. The aim of marriage was clear to both - procreation. Arrival of a son or a daughter into this world within one year of marriage was a foregone conclusion.

Now the thought process has changed, said the bride-to-be. Marriage is fun. It is for enjoyment. If you procreate and have an issue within one year of the Saptpadi or tying the knot, then they would be changing the nappies of the baby all the time. The marital enjoyment will be gone for good.

The two schools of thought are diametrically opposite. We reverted to the main topic. What should be the age difference between the bride and her groom? The general consensus was: Back to the Vedas. Let us do what the Vedic injunction orders us to do. Maintain brahmacharya until graduation and marry thereafter, maintaining an age difference of seven or eight years, procreate well and lead a life of bliss.

The vedas say; blessed are they who go through the four ashrams and fulfil the obligations to self and society.

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Posted comments (3)

	This is stupid
	\| 01 November 2009 Reply to Comment \| New Comment \| Report Abuse

	Very well said Mr. Chitranjan. In fact, the deviation from our vedic culture is the root of breaing marriages and what to talk of the live in relationships. A stronger protest on all these is a need of the hour. I think had you got more space to write it would have been a better discussion. Keep it up sir
	\| 31 October 2009 Reply to Comment \| New Comment \| Report Abuse

AUM.Thanks indeed Sanjay Chaturvedi Ji. Nice of you to have commented.

Chitranjan Sawant | 02 November 2009

	Thought provoking article.If the young generation is not educated in vedic or other scriptural injunctions the consequences will be disasterous.metioric rise in marital failure is already there to see.The author deserves kudos for bringing this issue in public domain.
	\| 31 October 2009 Reply to Comment \| New Comment \| Report Abuse