Marital life: Boon or bane
The young man and his sweetheart must understand what the institution of marriage is all about. That makes marital life sweeter, otherwise it becomes hell.
THE BRIDE blushed. She chose not to answer in words my question on the morning after she and the groom had explored each other as intimately as a human being could. Apparently, she had enjoyed the friendly fire. Exploring new vistas was a meaningful experience for her. The groom, when confronted with the same question a little later, was as happy as a boy with a new toy could be.
In another encounter with a different newly married couple, I found the responses to my question about their enjoyment or otherwise in the changed life dissimilar. Of course, both were playing a second innings on the marital wicket as the first innings had ended in a fiasco. They had their own cogent reasons for going through the bitter process of divorce but opined that legal separation from the first partner in life was a good riddance. Indeed, the wedding vows had become meaningless and the first marriage was on the rocks. While going through the wedding vows a second time they had their bitter memories of the previous partner to hold them in good stead.
The two narrations above lead us to the point that marriage is the game played by just two players and they have to go by the rule of the game. An infringement of the rules enshrined in the vows taken while going round the Havan Kund sacred fire, AGNI, may lead to a breakdown of the marriage itself. The mantras are not meaningless. Their observance leads to bliss. On the contrary, an infringement may spell bane.
SAPTPADI – SEVEN PACES The Hindu law recognises a wedding as legal after the bride and the groom have taken seven steps and seven vows to lead a happy married life. It would be a good idea to go through the seven steps mentally without getting married to an imaginary damsel or prince charming as the case may be. By the way, the Hindu Marriage Act 1955 prohibits living legally with two living spouses. One wonders why Pt Jawaharlal Nehru was so kind to the Hindus alone and not to the Muslims, and let their male could continue with four living wives. The Chinese government in Beijing have brooked no such non-sense. One man one wife; one woman one husband is called in the Chinese language NAN NYU PING DENG – equality between sexes.
The First of the seven steps is: Strive together as life-partners for food. The age-old saying is - you are what you eat. The energy giving food should be partaken of together.
The Second step is a vow for health and strength. Strive together for life giving energy.
The Third step is for acquisition of wealth through righteous means.
The Fourth step is for Happiness. Pray that all your thoughts and actions generate happiness for both the bride and the groom.
The Fifth step is a vow to beget santaan – children who are healthy and intelligent. The couple must remember that Sex for Santaan is a Vedic injunction, and must be obeyed.
The Sixth step is a vow to gel with Nature. Let us be environment-friendly, say the couple.
The Seventh step is a vow: Let us be Friends. Sakha Bhav – this eternal friendship is between equals. Between the husband and wife, no one is a senior and no one is a junior.
WE MAY EVER BE IN LOVE
The groom touches his bride’s heart literally and figuratively. Both say to each other ”May you and I have unity of thought and action. The Almighty has enjoined on both of us to shun Promiscuity and be faithful and loyal to each other. We shall be in LOVE.
Every single vow of the seven vows taken during the Saptpadi has a long lasting and deep impression on the couple’s minds. If they continue observing them both in letter and spirit, there is not likely to be a problem in running the marital life smoothly. Non-observance may lead to a clash of personalities and ego of the two. Moreover, a wrong step in the direction of promiscuity may cause the marital ship flounder over the rocks of mutual suspicion. Trust must be built step by step. A trust deficit may spell disaster for the married couple.
It is seen that birds of a feather flock together. Happily married couples should keep company with other happily married couples and compare notes to avoid some of the common pitfalls.
Not long ago while I was in the UK doing Ved prachar on the radio and before live audiences, a sad mother approached me and said in confidence that her daughter and son-in-law were not in love from day one of their married life. The old mother wanted me to write a Ved mantra and tie it in the dupatta of her daughter to shoo away the foreign girl who had seduced her son-in-law and the mantra may motivate him to share the bed with his wife alone. I regretted that such a Ved mantra did not exist. However, I gave the mother-daughter duo a Maha-mantra called SAMVAAD – dialogue. The husband and wife must spend time together and must communicate with each other. Communication is the lifeline of a happy married life. Lack of communication between the bride and the groom may give rise to suspicion and lead to disastrous results. Let the couple communicate with each other to make marriage a boon as absence of it would make marriage a bane.
Let both the groom and the bride spend considerable period of time together where they have a heart-to-heart talk and clear the air of suspicion, if any. The elders in the family may help the couple to be on the right course to achieve the aim of leading a happy married life.
Indeed, the main role is to be played by the couple themselves to be healthy and happy and ever be in LOVE.
 | Previous Post |
Login
 Login through Social ID
|
Not finding what you are looking for? Search here.
