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Marrying a divorcee woman? Perform these checks
In my many years of being associated with men’s rights movement and witnessing the terrible loss and suffering that men and their families go through due to misuse of anti-male laws like 498a and DV act, I have also come across many men and families who after recovering from such shock look to getting their son remarried. They often ask me what they should look for in the girl so that they do not have to go through the ordeal of fighting false cases in a social and judicial setup that has little sympathy for men’s issues.

In an arranged marriage culture like India, a lot of the matches that these men get are from women who are also divorced and many men and families are often paranoid of marrying these women for obvious reasons. In this article I attempt to quell some of their doubts and provide some guidelines with the below caveat.

As long as the Indian society and judicial system remains anti-male, men cannot expect to get gender-neutral laws and subsequent justice in courts. There is no guarantee that men will not face these cases even if they marry an unmarried woman. However, the below checks if done meticulously can unearth the truth and expose magnitude of falsehood and may reduce the probability of getting impacted with false cases again to a certain extent. The idea of the below checks and balances is essentially to extract all material information of your spouse before you take the plunge so that you take a informed decision after getting appraised of the risks.

Do not believe in sob stories

Rarely do divorced women looking to remarry will tell you the real issue behind the divorce. Most would blame the ex husband and come up with a sob story. Given the provider-protector training and education that is imparted to most Indian men, even those who have been hit by false cases earlier tend to believe these sob stories and want to rescue this damsel in distress. Do not believe in any sob stories of what the woman allegedly underwent in her past marriage that you are told or hear of. Stick to facts and figures and demand to see paper work filed from from both sides to determine what was the actual cause.

A divorce done “mutually” may not be devoid of other cases

Most prospective brides will claim that they were divorced “mutually”. This is always the case and is the truth. Winning a contested divorce in India based on merit is virtually impossible and hence both husband and wife litigate for years on frivolous cases till the husband is forced into some kind of a monetary “settlement” after which mutual divorce proceedings begin. So a person getting divorced mutually does not always mean that they did not file any cases on the ex husband and did not receive alimony.

Check the separation to divorce grant timeline

There can be a million reasons why couples might want to split and there is nothing wrong in that. If there is an amicable breakup without any false cases the typical time frame of separation, filing the divorce and granting of the divorce is about 6 to 8 months. When marrying a divorced woman mandate ask to see the dates when the couple separated and when divorce was finally was granted. If the time frame from separation to divorce grant appears to be more than 8 months, be very suspicious. This is a certain indication and a red flag that there was huge maintenance / alimony demands from the woman along with other cases like dowry and domestic violence cases with the primary divorce case. Research has conclusively proven that 98% of dowry cases and 95% of domestic violence cases filed by Indian women are false to begin with and are filed to harass and extort large alimonies.

Do research on the cases filed on ex husband

In India, husbands do not have any legal protection and cannot pray for judicial relief even when facing domestic violence and abuse, whereas women have more than 13 separate laws with which they can file court cases on their husband and his family. Mandatorily demand to see all the case papers to unearth what were the cases filed if any. If you determine that the woman has filed dowry, domestic violence and maintenance cases, never agree to marry, as this is a dangerous individual. The Honorable Supreme Court of India has stated that misuse of matrimonial laws is equivalent to legal terror and that makes your prospect a legal terrorist. A person who succeeds in extorting money through these cases will in every probability do it again and this time will also avoid any mistakes that were made the first time. Marrying a woman who has filed any false and frivolous cases like 498a, PWDVA and maintenance is signing is your death warrant.

Demand to check on alimony gained from last marriage

Both spouses bring some assets to the marriage and if the woman is divorced chances are that she has got some alimony from the ex-husband. While the concept of alimony is a akin to slavery, there are seldom any woman who will agree to a divorce without one. Typically the alimony amount is mentioned in the final divorce decree given by the court. Demand to know how much alimony was paid and how was it paid. Also scrutinize if the streedhan (Gold and gifts ) etc that the woman got from the ex-husband was indeed returned to the ex-husband ? Be very suspicious of a woman who has got an very large alimony for a marriage which lasted a few months/years.

Do not fall for passing the blame

Now that awareness in the society has increased about misuse of matrimonial laws and people misusing it are ostracized socially to some extent, they have resorted to passing the blame. The woman will blame that her father forced her to file these case and she was completely unaware of what it even meant. The father in turn will pass the blame to the lawyers and lawyer will pass it to the police and so forth. Remember filing a false case demands a lot of meticulous planning and paying bribes. This needs complete collusion and teamwork by the woman and her family and everyone is equally guilty even if they claim they were unaware of the consequences.

Editorial NOTE: This article is categorized under Opinion Section. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of In case you have a opposing view, please click here to share the same in the comments section.
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