We all need friends and have generally two kinds of friends. One friend tells at point blank that I’m a loser. I’m wrong. I may not like this friend. No one ever likes him anyway. And we have the other kind of friend who will always tell me that what a great guy a wonderful man and excellent human being I am. He lies but still he is my best friend. Of course, it is socially acceptable to offer mild false praise. It’s symbolic of mediocrity. We all want to be honest but we end up doing the opposite. Honesty is the best policy but the deliverance of this policy is also an art. Advice delivered in a caustic manner doesn‘t go far.

We can’t see our shortcomings ourselves. That’s why it is necessary to surround ourselves with people who could tell us the truth about us - even when we don’t want to hear it. In real life, we let down the same best friends and they let down us at times.

Let us realize that human nature is prone to egoism. We do always want to receive. We feel ‘giving up’ is a virtue and ‘giving in’ is defeat. We look the other way when a child beggar knocks at the window of our car. We give him up. God will take care of him if the creature is genuinely needy. The signal is going to be green soon and I've no time. The law of nature is quite contrary to that. It is based upon altruism.

The essential force which binds us is love. The whole balance of existence is based on giving in. The whole flora and fauna give in for us. The ecosystem of the universe revolving around us is giving in. Paulo Coelho of “The Alchemist’ has said, “The whole universe conspires for us when we move forward. The separate objects which surround us work together just like organs within our body. Everything in nature functions that way except for the inner life of an individual that’s me.”

I love to receive as much as possible to satisfy myself and I care two hoots about giving the least who can’t reciprocate. In fact, it is I who always ends up being at the expense of others. Our most outwardly kind and generous acts are done only with the intention of self-gratification. The question is - Is it our fault? Aren’t we built this way? Hate and greed are integral part of our nature. How to mould these negative instincts into a positive energy? Can’t we just turn our egoistic nature in a way that allows us to rise above the self? Religion, not science, has the solution for this dilemma. “Love our Neighbor as our self – Love others exactly as you love yourself! – Putting their interests before anything else – just like you do with your own self interest now.”

As Maitheli Sharan Gupt has rightly said: “Manushye matr bahdu hai, yehi bara vivek hai, wahi manushye hai ke jo manushye ke liye marey, yeh pashu priverti hai ke aap aap he chare (All human beings are brothers and sisters. The real man lives for others. The animal instincts reflect in him who care for himself alone).”