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Rigorous relationships and hasty decisions
Togetherness is not just the motive behind any relationship until the foundation is built on loyalty, faith, understanding, caring and sharing. If we look at the kind of relationships our parents or grandparents or our elderly relatives cultivated throughout their lives, we do wonder at times how did they manage for so many years to be together. The only reason is patience with perseverance - they never checked how much they were compatible to be together, they accepted the flaws and lived with them, and made their lives successful.

TODAY, OUR relationships come with a shelf life.  We tend to measure the compatibility once we start dating. Why do we believe in live-in relations, why is infidelity is increasing, why are cases of divorce on the rise, why we cannot find a steady relationship these days, and why is the word 'break-up' is so common amongst teenagers?

The more we dig into a relationship, the more we tend to tie ourselves in knots, so it's essential to look into the sensitive part of the bonding process. I once did a survey within a group of professionals from different backgrounds of different ages, and found that relationships that are formed rigorously don't mend. The only reason is the more you come to know about the person the more you start lacking interest in him/her, which is why the term 'boredom' arises these days.

Recently I came to know that one of my colleagues eloped with a girl and got married, the boy is 26 and the girl is 20 year old. Due to differences in religion, the girl's parents did not support them and they were so much in love that they did not care about the world and got married. Now, the question arises, does such kind of rigorous relationships come with an expiry date, or do they really work? Who decides it, maybe they will be together for a lifetime or they may regret later on and then the ultimate resolution will be a divorce.

Normally, this is what we find in 8 out of 10 cases. So here comes the support of parents, as much as like best friends, they do say that when kids grow up parents should treat them as friends, but do they really mean it? Had they meant it cases like eloping and getting married would not have existed in the world. I am sure that no matter how much two people are in love, at the back of their mind they have one question, will their parents agree to their relationship? So before we blame our kids, it's important for parents to mend their thought process.

We have walked miles away from our orthodox thinking but still we are tangled in our so-called 'sabhyata' that doesn't allow our elders to support their kids in their decisions about marriage, realtionships and life making decisions. Before we hold counseling sessions for kids and grown ups, it's important to counsel parents, teachers and the ones who guide children to take strong and powerful decisions and not to make hasty decisions.

If guardians communicate with their children in a manner that will impact the reflexive process then that is when the thought will change and relationships will have their place where it deserves to fit in our lives. Rigorous activity will always have a drawback; however, anything with calm and peaceful mind will come with permanent mark which will not fade no matter how many storms or tides it faces. 

To maintain a steady and strong relationship it's important to stick to the right decision and give time to yourself and to your partner to judge whether or not this relationship will last. Compromises will affect a person in the long run so staying mum and accepting things will put a negative impact. However, if being blunt can repair things then there is no harm in being straight forward. Moreover, not to forget, strong feelings can be developed for one person and not for every other person who shows concern towards your life. Time is to understand yourself first and then decide who stands where in your life, things will not look so complicated and your world will be worth living.

Editorial NOTE: This article is categorized under Opinion Section. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of In case you have a opposing view, please click here to share the same in the comments section.
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