“I DON’T want to waste my studies and my knowledge for the sake of marriage” stated Sunita, a 33 year old fashion designer based in Mumbai. Further she said that  “I am financially and professionally secure and want to achieve success in life and want to live it for myself, not waste it in compromises and always satisfying husband’s male ego”.  Similar are the views of 29 year old Sunayna, an executive in a private firm, who loves and enjoys her single status. According to her, most of the married women who pretends to be happy actually are not, somewhere in their sub conscious mind they have the feeling that their existence is being ruined by their marriage.

But, earlier too women have managed their profession and family simultaneously and done that quite successfully. Dr Anjali Chabaria, a psychiatrist, explains that most of the ambitious women are averse to the idea of dealing with the hassles of marriage. After attaining financial independence or social success, a woman might not be ready to compromise. That is why we often hear about disturbed married life, giving rise to a large number of divorces. Another reason for development of this change in perspective of women may be due to extreme westernisation or modernisation. Hereby giving birth to a new kind of relationship called  'live in’ , in which man and woman, who are financially independent, stay together without any commitment of marriage and enjoy a healthy relationship till they are happy with each other.

Earlier, marriage was a woman’s requirement for financial security, physical urge and also a social requirement, but now the times have changed. Today’s women are financially independent and have found alternate ways to satisfy their physical urge and social obligations are a passe for them. Today’s women have entered in every field, right from being a bus conductor or a driver to an astronaut or pilot and are making their presence felt everywhere.

Also according to these women, it is very difficult to achieve success when one is tied down by family and need to compromise with her professional life for meeting social obligations, handling partner’s ego and always trying hard to be a ‘perfect wife’, ‘a perfect daughter in law’, etc.

Today’s career driven ambitious women demand liberty and respect, which is unbearable for a chauvinist who can never accept his wife to be superior or more successful than him. So most of the successful women opt being single rather than getting married. Pulitzer award winner journalist Susan Faludi points to methodical studies proving 60 per cent of single women believe that they are happier than their married counterparts, 90 per cent of the unmarried women said the reason they have not married is because they preferred not to. The more women earn, the less eager they are to marry. Also, single women have better health and are more likely to lead a happy life than their married counterparts.

Now the question arises whether being financially and professionally independent is enough for life? The answer will definitely be no, because marriage may not seem that important when one is young but when a woman attains a particular age and feels the need of emotional support and love, then she feels the need of a partner who can emotionally support her or take care of her and love her. That can only be provided by marriage. Even though according to a study conducted globally 24.4 per cent of unmarried women replied that they don’t feel it is necessary and 20. 1 per cent of them cited lack of financial stability, followed by husband’s preference for wife to stay at home with 9.8 per cent and responsibilities of married life with 9.3 per cent. While 4.4 per cent of them said marriage is a disadvantage to women. But further psychological study says that married women are more balanced, where as most unmarried women lead a very unidimensional existence. Unmarried women are more prone to drugs then their married counterparts. This fact can also not be denied that to all intents and purposes one starts feeling the need of marriage in long run.

At last whatever the study or psychology says, but the ultimate decision has to be of the woman herself. If a successful career and successful marriage can go hand in hand that will be the best, but if not, then the final choice is hers to choose between career and marriage. It is totally on her whether she wants to live a happy married life or wants to enjoy the professionally successful single status.