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Unjust Humanity
Virag
Suicides by married men – Cold blooded murders by society? 22 April, 2016
30th March 2008, Bangalore was shocked by a news wherein an Infosys techie Amit Buddhiraja committed suicide after killing his wife. Amit's wife Rinku was caught having an extra-marital affair with her colleague and when he confronted her, she threatened to get his entire family jailed by trapping them in a false dowry harassment case. Exasperated, imagining the consequences thereafter, Amit took the extreme step.

18th April 2016, Gurugram (Gurgaon) was shocked by Bharat Kumar Dabas killing himself after smothering his two sons aged 8 and 5 to death. Bharat's wife was very abusive towards him and he was tired of taking her torture. 

She finally left him and started staying with her mother and was constantly threatening him that she would take the kids away. The thought of not being able to see his children forever was devastating for Bharat, who finally took the extreme step.

What's common between the above two news?

1.    In both cases, a married man committed suicide.

2.    In both cases, before committing suicide, the man killed his family members.

3.    In both cases, the man was being harassed and abused by his wife or in-laws and was being threatened about false dowry case to be registered against him.

4.    In both cases, the man did not have any support or listening from the society.

5.    In both cases, the man was pushed to the brink to take this extreme step.

Now, are these isolated cases? Definitely not. There are lacs and lacs of men who are undergoing tumultuous torture and extreme harassment and abuse and there are hundreds of cases like those of Amit's and Bharat's happening and increasing.

But then, why we do not see any reaction from the society on this? Well, we do, but the reactions are not the ones we expect. We aren't seeing the society asking for bringing a change to support such men. What we are seeing is a reverse of this, we are asking for more and more protection to women which quintessentially transpires into punishing men more and more hoping that out of fear of punishment, men would crumble.

The reason these two cases are cited here is because there's an 8 year gap between the two incidents and the underlying pattern is same and the cases are almost identical but there's no change in the reaction of the society.

Also, during these 8 years a lot of awareness has been created in the society about issues faced by men, even though we have a very long way to go before we even start to understand the tough life men live, yet the beginning has happened. A new dawn has descended onto earth and it won't be long before it blossoms into a day.

But even today, we see that the accused who abetted the suicide of Bharat are still roaming at large and we do not see a public outcry to arrest them. We do not see any twitter hashtag like #JusticeForBharat or any Facebook page titled "Justice for Bharat".

Even if some earthly soul does it, the twitter hashtag won't trend for sure and it would be a challenge to get even 100 likes for the Facebook page. On the contrary, if it's a woman it would become news of national importance or probably even a new law would form.

What does it indicate? It indicates a lack of willingness to protect men in abusive relationships and what is it leading to? It's leading to a barbaric society where loss of human life is akin to just another news like a new movie being released. We read about it and then we move on.

As it is, given the rampant male hatred that grapples the society, life of young men has no value. Society values the lives of women and children the most. But, as we see in the above two examples, it was the women and children who lost their lives too and then the men killed themselves because these men knew, that society would not understand their position at all and eventually kill them. They just hastened the end they always knew was going to happen.

The loss of all these human lives could have well been prevented if,

1.    We had a listening for men.

2.    We had a sensitivity to understand the tough lives they lead.

3.    We had the maturity to not judge men at every step of life.

4.    We had the willingness to protect men from abusive women.

5.    We didn't have the penchant to reward abusive women.

But since, all the social structures and laws are loathed against men, it's just a reflection of the social mindset wherein we just feel pride in judging men and in not supporting them. This gagging of men slowly and silently kills them. When they commit suicide after being pushed to the brink and cornered from all sides, is just that the corpse stops breathing.

They are not suicides, but cold-blooded murders by society and every year, 65000 married men are murdered in cold blood by the insensitive attitude of the society towards men and we are still sleeping ducks.

We can have a thousand reasons to say why we should not support men but those reasons are of no consequence when we see such heavy loss of life which was avoidable and very much preventable.

Ultimately, it's the prized possession of the society – the women, children and elders, who are going to suffer the ultimate ignominy, because men will come, do their bit and end their lives, but who will take care of the prized possession of the society?

Today, it is Bharat, tomorrow, it will be your brother, your son, your cousin, your best buddy, your close friend, your colleague and you will only repent in leisure because today you chose not to raise voice in support of Bharat.

Raise your voice, listen to men, support them, stop judging them and last but not the least, stop trying to fix them. Do not be a silent supporter of this kind of treatment being meted out to men and stop being a part of a society that murders men in cold blood by helping his abusive wife.

Editorial NOTE: This article is categorized under Opinion Section. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of merinews.com. In case you have a opposing view, please click here to share the same in the comments section.
About The Author
Virag R Dhulia, a software professional, has been a prominent men's rights activist. He has been engaged in creating awareness about the abuse of men and their families through anti-male and gender biased laws like Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act etc. He has been instrumental in networking with fellow men's rights activist both across India and abroad and has played key roles in organizing events to create awareness about abuse of men by the society. A book titled, 'The Secrets of Manhood' authored by Virag has been published. This book is a collection of short articles which focus on issues and problems faced by men and how men are victims of social stereotypes.
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