The Mirage of arranged marriage!
The arranged marriage concept can easily fall on its face, taking with it the dreams and desires of an Indian girl, who goes through several stages of meeting a boy, only to receive a negative response.
I COULD most likely relate myself to Kareena Kapoor's character Geet in the film 'Jab we met'. Like her, "mujhe bhi bachpan se hi (more like ever since 18yrs of age) shaadi karney ka bada hi shauk tha.” Well little did I know that the entire ordeal of finding the right match, in my Rajputi community would turn my shauk into a rude shock!
But then came the turning point, where I was to meet a person in flesh and blood. To tell you the truth, I hated the fact that he was from a certain part of the country which is renowned for its unruly behaviour, lack of manners and absolute hooliganism, hated that he was much older than me, I even hated the way he looked.
Not that I am Cleopatra myself but looks are nevertheless important for me, though in the long run its only the nature that lasts. Still, though I believed that looks can be compromised over the person's qualities but only to a certain extent - I can't possibly marry Shrek!
I had met him online on the insistence of my parents and had tried to analyze him, finding him just about average. I don't really know what happened but the next day I heard that things were being called off, as he wasn't too keen on continuing the talks.
Flabbergasted would also be an understatement. What I felt that very instant was a rush of devious feelings; nothing short of murdering and cutting him into a million pieces and feeding him to the dogs, thinking how could he say no to me of all the people in the world. I guess that's what happened when they say 'pride goes before a fall'. Well that's when my hurt ego bled for days together. I would be quiet and depressed, for I failed to understand as to what had gone wrong.
Not being the kinds to take injustice lying down, I wrote back asking for an explanation for this erratic behaviour. I had half a mind of giving him an earful but being extra careful (as I didn't want to leave any written proof of my actions with him) I chose to give him my cell number.
By then my family was also trying to coax him into meeting us once in person and clear all doubts before taking the final step; to which he agreed. I buried all the hatchets and tried to forgive him for his misdoings in the past and agreed to meet him. Little did I know what was in store for me.
The big day came. I had spoken to those who have been through this ordeal before as to how do you know that ' he is the one' and I was told that I would feel it myself. Unfortunately the first thing that came to my mind when I saw him was “Eeeww”. Though he wasn't all that bad in person, he was way below my expectations and then we got talking. With every sentence exchanged, I understood how different he was from me - he had no sense of humour, he was so sombre with his approach towards life while I wore extra large rose colored glasses to see the world.
Our choice of films, our habits and almost everything we spoke of in the 60 minutes of conversation (with me doing most of the talking) I realised how much we were meant to not be together. When we returned home, everyone asked me how it went. I said that on a scale of one to ten I would give it a possibility of seven for things to work out. I thought he would want to marry me and I would have to say no.
But the very next day I learnt that the this 30-year-old had given a lame excuse that he wasn't ready to get married. Well at once I was shocked for I had never faced rejection before and it came as a revelation of facts 'in my face'. Everyone tried to console me by telling me reasons of why it was good that I didn't marry him.
Slowly and gradually I started feeling glad that I escaped getting married to the guy who I didn't in the least bit click with - I mean who in this world can live without a sense of humour!
And now I learn that he is engaged to someone I know through my friend circle. He doesn't know that I know of his engagement and don't think he even cares. I have half a mind to go to his marriage and give him a shock of his life by confronting him and his true 'love' as to how he had no courage to tell me the truth, while I was willing to face it all along. But then I guess he is not worth the effort.
The big day came. I had spoken to those who have been through this ordeal before as to how do you know that ' he is the one' and I was told that I would feel it myself. Unfortunately the first thing that came to my mind when I saw him was “Eeeww”. Though he wasn't all that bad in person, he was way below my expectations and then we got talking. With every sentence exchanged, I understood how different he was from me - he had no sense of humour, he was so sombre with his approach towards life while I wore extra large rose colored glasses to see the world.
Our choice of films, our habits and almost everything we spoke of in the 60 minutes of conversation (with me doing most of the talking) I realised how much we were meant to not be together. When we returned home, everyone asked me how it went. I said that on a scale of one to ten I would give it a possibility of seven for things to work out. I thought he would want to marry me and I would have to say no.
But the very next day I learnt that the this 30-year-old had given a lame excuse that he wasn't ready to get married. Well at once I was shocked for I had never faced rejection before and it came as a revelation of facts 'in my face'. Everyone tried to console me by telling me reasons of why it was good that I didn't marry him.
Slowly and gradually I started feeling glad that I escaped getting married to the guy who I didn't in the least bit click with - I mean who in this world can live without a sense of humour!
And now I learn that he is engaged to someone I know through my friend circle. He doesn't know that I know of his engagement and don't think he even cares. I have half a mind to go to his marriage and give him a shock of his life by confronting him and his true 'love' as to how he had no courage to tell me the truth, while I was willing to face it all along. But then I guess he is not worth the effort.
So this chapter has closed here, with its own ups and downs. I am not ready to take another emotional setback in the next six months. I hope I don't have to subject myself to another such interview as one of the qualifying stages of the examination called the arranged marriage but then life is unpredictable. God plays his cards as and when he feels like and lands you in a quirky situation when you are least bit expecting it and completely unprepared.
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What exactly is this woman complaining about? She did not want the man and, despite making some effort, she had no intention of marrying him. He clearly felt the same. So why is it wrong for him to turn her down and not the other way round? He had the sense to stop the process before it had begun and went off and found someone else more suited to his tastes. She seems to think that he should be pining for love of her even though she did not want him. What an ego!
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