PEOPLE FIND change difficult; we need dependability, stability and certainty in our lives, and rightly so. Each of us has what might be called a comfort zone - areas in life where we feel comfortable. However, if we always stay in our zone, we atrophy and never grow. We become stuck in our ways and thoughts, and life ceases to be a challenge and we often end up feeling boring and meaningless - whereas it should be a test of survival rather than the adventure it should be.

The asinine thing is that comfort zone is only comfortable because it is known and safe. It is our world as we know it, both good and bad. Within it, there may be things that are actually very uncomfortable, such as self-sabotaging patterns, but they are comfortable because they are known and familiar. Better to lie in your muddy old ditch and feel sorry for yourself then to get up an out to explore the world some more  why, you might get shot at! You might fall into a ditch that's even bigger and muddier! Moving out of your comfort zone can feel scary, unpredictable, risky and be perceived by some as downright dangerous.

People who are risk averse don't like leaving their comfort zone, they like to stay in control because otherwise they will feel frightened and that is what most people are trying to avoid, the feeling of being scared and not in control. Many people know them what makes them uncomfortable. Perhaps something as seemingly simple as looking someone in the eyes; going on a scary ride at a theme park; confrontation and being angry; speaking their mind, patting a dog. But they will have much less ideas of what makes them feel comfortable. Most of us resort to thing like people I like or watching T.V. But few will consider their behavior, let alone their self sabotaging behaviours, because behavior seems to be so much of what they are.

But they are not they learned, just like the two times table, or how long to boil an egg. They are pavlovian, conditioned reflexes to people and situation. Most of us has developed behavior strategies for avoiding fear and staying in control, because that way we don't feel vulnerable and exposed trying something we are not used to- and don't risk looking foolish. I worked for some while for an organization. They didn't want any change. They were quite happy in their comfort zones like all comforters, they had been trained to minimize risk. But without stretching the out of their zones we couldn't improve level of client service, to get them to understand that they were not there to control their clients, but to serve them. Role of ego in strategy of comfort zone.

If our higher selves are motivated by love, compassion and understand our ego is driven by fear. It is the collective of the different part of our personalities that are frightened driven by anxieties, insecurities, fear of survival and fear of change. Which have a vested interest in everything staying the same. Because if everything stays the same, it means we don't have to change, feel uncomfortable that we can stay as we are. The ego is all about creating strategies to stay in its comfort zone and not venture into new territory. New territory means feeling fear, so let's stay here! The ego is fearful of any change and above all it's fearful of death. The ego feels bad about itself, so its need reassurance that its okay, and the reassurance comes from acquiring new things, bigger this, better that, wearing designer labels to demonstrate 'being different', wealth and being the right kind of person. It also comes in controlling others, getting approval from others, in sex, in food and other behavior patterns.

These are all a defense against feeling insecure. The ego feels the need to be in control and can be very self destructive. People feel most comfortable when they are with similar people. Controlling others hides our own vulnerability. People need to have power so they feel in control, and control over others means that they don't have to face their own fears of being controlled of their own self hatred of feeling powerless. The need for control runs very deep in all of us and we can see that in every area of life. We manipulate and sometime cheat to get our way and we have all done it either at work or may be in relationships.