Sharing her personal experience, Chhabra says, “I had my arranged marriage with Sanjeev in Ludhiana on 13th April 1992. Due to family problems and adjustment, we didn’t think about the family planning. Later, after four years we were blessed with my elder son. We lived happily. My in-laws were not in favour of me.”
Adding, she says, “When my husband expired, I tried living with my in-laws but after 10 months of his death, I left my in-law’s place and came back to my Dad’s home in city. My parents supported me in every step that I took. With the responsibility of two sons I was left with a question – What now? How will I feed my kids? Due to my Dad’s grace, he started an agency for me where I earned rupees 200 on first days. It boosted my confidence and I continued the same job. In free time I started my boutique with support of my brother-in-law who invested money on a promise that I will refund it back later. I think life never ends if your better half is not physically present around you. He is always in your mind and soul.”
Keeping in mind the fact that Sanjeev is around her, she never looked back. Presently, though not much sound, yet she is providing complete care to her sons. She is fulfilling their needs to a great extent. The major part is the adjustment of kids without father.
On this note, she reveals, “My kids especially a younger one still asks me about his father. On the flip side, my elder son is quite mature than him. He understands the whole scenario which in turn enhances my confidence in them.” Currently Chhabra is running a boutique and doing a job of an anchor with Doordarshan. Whatever she earns is spent on the care and growth of kids.
Likewise there is another paradigm from city, a mother named Paramjeet Kaur who lost her husband in the year 1992 due to the heart failure, is playing a father’s role too in the lives of her two daughters named Maninder Kaur and Barinder Kaur and both are happily married.
When she was suffering from a setback, her two daughters were in their twenties. But with the passage of time, she managed and coped up with the whole situation and today she is happily living with her one daughter at her place.
Explaining the life after her husband passed away, Kaur shares, “My daughters were of small age when they lost their precious gem- their father. But I was lucky enough to have them in my life as both of them adjusted with me in my small family. We confronted with various hurdles in initial time but as time passed the situation improved. I continued my government service for another six years. When I retired, my elder daughter Maninder started doing a government job as a lecturer. We were living on her income and my pension. Later, when she got married, she decided to remain with me along with my son-in-law. What else I wanted? My younger daughter is now happily married with two sons. There is no doubt that without a male head in family, the living condition becomes difficult. But it is also right that nothing is impossible. We need to look after the coming generations. I did the same. With full patience and self-confidence I didn’t look back.”
Today Kaur is merrily living with her elder daughter and remembers the time when she decided to serve her daughters alone and feels proud of her decision.
And it is seen that at rough times people committ suicide, which is not at all a fruitful step. Hence, the bottom line is, ‘Tough times never last but tough people (like Archana and Paramjeet) do.
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