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Why is love a crime in this country? - Part 2
I am writing this as a continuation of my last article 'Why is love a crime in this country?' I reviewed the views expressed by different people and even some of my closest mates, who have been bashing me for being prejudiced. I also remember a comment from father of a young girl and though I may not agree with what everyone has been telling me but I respect their views. Okay, I guess I am trying to be diplomatic. That is so unlike me. Let's try this again.

WHENEVER SOMEONE speaks in support of love or love marriages, there is a sect that stands up to safeguard the interests of the parents. Whenever you speak of love, they say, why love between a boy and girl is only the focal point - why not speak of the parents who also love their children - what about them? That is the question here, what about them?

This is no denying the fact that parents love their children and vice versa. And it is also true that we leave our parents to be with our beloved. That may seem like another side of the story, but it is not.

We live in a society that is based on biases and fear. Just stop being diplomatic and accept the truth that we are divided - divided like hell. Even if we get a group of ten, we can make eleven different parts of it. The divisions would be based on all sorts of different matters. We are branded with way too many names from the very first breath we take in the world. But do we ever oppose this division? No - though we may like to but we won’t as we have to please a hypothetical society.

Our parents consider themselves as slaves of this society and hence can do nothing to offend them or else they will invite the wrath of it. They are so concerned about the society that they unknowingly or knowingly leave their children behind. There’s no logic to support their opinion other than, that ‘we’ have to live in the same society and it’s not going to change overnight. Hence, we can’t go beyond the rules that this society has prescribed for us. Hence you have to inflict upon yourself this suffering that is so hard to bear, that would hurt like hell because society wants this from you. I do not find this a reasonable logic. It means that we have to support a wrong just because we are afraid of standing alone on the other side of the line - the right side.

No one wants to leave their parents. At least no right-minded person wants to do that. Now there’ll always be bad people around us but we have to stop looking at them all the time because we find it convenient too. When people do leave their parents, it is because they can’t buy the logic that I stated above. They can’t understand the reason of the opposition and resistance that they face.

What does it matter if my girlfriend comes from a different caste or religion or if my girlfriend comes from a different social background or state or if she does not wear a sari or if her name starts with ‘n’ which is not good according to some fat Brahmin Pandits, or if she has a mole on the wrong side of her face or if she wears glasses or if she is of the same height as I am or if she is too thin or if she speaks a different language.

Come on - do these really matter, as long as we love each other. You love something; you want something but are asked to refrain just on the basis of some gibberish logic. How can anyone buy something like that? Okay, I get it, it’s your parents. But why should they not be told that they are terribly, horribly wrong. Why should they not be confronted for something that is right? Young couples take some horrible and immature steps just because of the fact that they are afraid of losing each other. It is because we are brought up in an atmosphere so full of fear that we want to break free at some point. Some do and some don’t. Young couples are held guilty for leaving their parents. Why parents are not held guilty for their resistance? If I lose someone I love over some pity differences of caste or religion, why should I not ask my parents, where I am wrong and how are they right. Parents are so dejected and crestfallen to know that their children want to marry a person that they have not chosen. The logic that is given is that the boy or the girl is not mature enough to choose a life partner for himself or herself. If they are so immature, their parents should stop thinking about their marriage at all.

People who raise such hue and cry the moment anything is written or said about love marriages make a grave mistake when they demand to take a look at the parents’ perspective. There’s absolutely nothing to look at. Take this mist of fear off from the society and you will find that everyone is happy. I can see a very different life for myself the moment I see no fear of losing someone I love.

There are hundreds and thousands of lovers who have to break their relationship just because of fear of losing their family. Many families as well lose their children because they are not ready to accept their wishes. This all happens due to fear. Parents are afraid to admit in the so-called society that their child has married someone, he or she loved and they have no objection to it. Why are they afraid to do the right thing? Why can’t they say, “Yes, I support my child? I back his/ her decision. He/ she has a right to choose his/ her life partner and I respect this right and the decision that followed.”

People compare love. I mean, how is this even possible? ‘Do you love your partner more than your mother?’ This is as ridiculous as asking which of the two eyes you love the most because I am going to carve out the other one. ‘You know your partner since so and so years but what about your mother, she has looked after you since you were a baby.’ Really? This is the logic. I mean, really? Is love related with time? The longer you know someone, the more you love him, is that so? Going by this logic, it means that our mothers love us more when we are 25 than when we were 5.

People, straighten your crooked wisdom. Love has got nothing to do with time. You may love your partner, friends, parents, sisters, and brothers equally at the same time and in equal proportions. Love is never exhausted when used. No one can take anyone else’s place. All the people we love hold a special place and most often they can’t be compared. We never want to lose anyone we love, be it, our parents or our partners. Compromises are never happy to deal with and compromise with someone you loved so dearly, would hurt like hell and leave a mark as a reminder of what you lost.

Editorial NOTE: This article is categorized under Opinion Section. The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of In case you have a opposing view, please click here to share the same in the comments section.
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