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Unjust Humanity
Virag
Yes, I demanded dowry, but never got it 23 August, 2008
The word dowry has a very wide meaning and impact in our Indian society. Here's a new meaning to it. Read on. After all times are changing. Definitions of 1960, cannot work today and this is what the society has come to know of it

ALL THE characters referred to below are fictitious and bear no resemblance with anyone living or dead whatsoever. Any co-incidence is purely unintentional.



Dowry? A sensational word, isn’t it? Evokes strong emotions for the ‘married woman’. Unlawful demands from the husband’s side to the bride’s side like a scooter, car, fridge, cash, jewels, etc. Seems like a scene straight from a social cinema, depicting the ‘married woman’ as a liability. This is what the media has always represented dowry and dowry seeking money mongers as, and so this is what the society has come to know of it.


But the definition of dowry is far wider than that entailed above as put in Indian Penal Code (IPC) Section 498A as any ‘unlawful demand’ made by husband or his relatives. But what is ‘unlawful’ has not been described. It has been left to anyone’s imagination and depends on the intensity of the ‘married woman’s’ tears at time of the complaint.


The other day I happened to meet Jignesh, who has been accused under section 498A for allegedly making ‘unlawful demand’ to his wife. So I happened to chat with him as to what was the need to make any ‘unlawful demand’ from his wife when he himself earned a handsome salary working with an MNC at a prestigious position? Excerpts of my chat with him:


Me: “Well sad to know that you are facing criminal charges, but I fail to understand that when you are yourself so well placed, what made you demand?”


Jignesh: “So you seem to have decided the verdict yourself as is
evident from your question.”


Me: “Hey man, I did not mean that.”


Jignesh: “It’s OK, am used to it, but it is a truth that I demanded dowry from her. You heard it right,YesIdemanded dowry but never gotit.”


Me: “I see. Do you mind sharing your demands?”


Jignesh: “Not at all. I demanded our cultural values from her; I demanded as much respect from her for my parents, as I have for her parents. I demanded support from her to build my family. I demanded a feeling of oneness with contemporaries and love for the young ones in our family. I demanded restraint and patience to understand each other to build a stronger familial foundation. I demanded an anticipated expectation to be as much loyal and faithful to me as I am to her. Since, she and her parents, especially her mom did not have all these, they thought these demands were ‘unlawful ‘, and filed a case on me and my innocent family under Section 498A IPC.


Me: “I see. Hats off to you and sorry once again for that question, it was just framed badly, not intended that way.”


Jignesh: “That is fine; this is the pill society gives to victims of 498A, the anti-dowry law. But I have no qualms in saying that I demanded dowry, for if what I demanded amounts to dowry in today’s era of woman protection and woman empowerment, then so be it. After all times are changing. Definitions of 1960, cannot work today.”
About The Author
Virag R Dhulia, a software professional, has been a prominent men's rights activist. He has been engaged in creating awareness about the abuse of men and their families through anti-male and gender biased laws like Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act etc. He has been instrumental in networking with fellow men's rights activist both across India and abroad and has played key roles in organizing events to create awareness about abuse of men by the society.
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COMMENTS (3)
.i totally agree with this article. Now a days this kind of harassment is very common. Even i know some of the guys who are being harassed without any reason. Many people are using dowry demand as the weapon to torture the groom & his family. Law must change !
.In fact, even I made the mistake of asking the the same dowry as mentioned by Jignesh, and instead of getting the dowry, I too got a nice and vague 498a on me!
.Afterall, how can a dry-fish vendor appreciate the smell of roses? Asking suh a person to smell a rose would surely be an unlawful demand. Its finally the duty of the guy and his family to recognise the 'dry-fish seller' like girl's family before marriage, rather then demanding roses from her after marriage!
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