BESHARAM: Tai Tai Phish
kalos | 06 Oct 2013

It is a senseless and vulgar movie.

BESHARAM: Tai Tai PhishBESHARAM is a worthy successor to BARFI to be sent for Oscars.KAASH, we all could YAP! Thank God, we can't! Agar ek bhai ka dabba gol ho gaya (THE LUNCH BOX), toh duusre ka flat tire. And still both r providing unasked for whinebites. Aadat se majboor. Never mind. Not everyone can make a film only for Oscars. Bade Bhaiya was ready with designer suit, French cut (that doesn't change basic small town goonda look) and acquired a much younger foreign looking wife also (a non-actress, who can open her cave-like mouth). She could look good hanging over the arm. Sound-bites were ready but the red carpet was pulled from under as the main product is inferior.But the second kind brother is ready (not with the product but "l can do better than u at being WORST".) Courtesy big brother, he acquires star actors and a corporate distributor. Holiday, long weekend, solo release, blah blah is ready but the main course goes missing. U get the drift eh! Afterall, u r the viewer. There is more to come. If two bhaiya are not enough, there is a behen in waiting. News is, she too wishes to...direct. (Did you all faint!) Never mind. The debutant director's wife is a book writer. (I hope, you didn't die!) Here, I'll mind. Plot: Director: Naach na jaane, aangan teda Hero: tai tain phish Film: Saridon aur chappal-joote sath le jaana. Tamatar mehnge hain.If one can barely tolerate this khichdi of 80s movies, the credit goes wholly to Javed Jafri, Rishi Kapoor and Nitu Singh. Ranbir has a long way to go as an actor. If YJHD was a fluke hit, doesn't mean he can act. He is just lucky among the current younger lot.Ranbir is striking package deals with director partners: Karan Johar (BOMBAY TALKIES, YJHD); Abhinav Kashyap (BESHARAM) and Anurag Kashyap (Bombay Velvet). He is partnering with Anurag Basu (BARFI) with JAGGA JASOOS. Even Rajni babu Kan't save this movie. Chala murari hero banne. Sharab, kebab, Shabab, drugs, cigarettes se fursat kahan. Yeh bhi pheku type hai. Like Narendra Modi, Ranbir too will put his directors in Income Tax noose for source of funds.And Salman Khan is laughing all the way to the...toilet (u read that right as laughing has loosened his bowels.) Salman had ghost-directed DABANGG and it was a blockbuster. He offered the sequel to the debutant "director", who REFUSED and the movie was another blockbuster. The debutant was without work for 3 years. And he followed D with B thinking he could direct. But he could only produce Salman-clone. When original is still around, why'll v taste baasi kadi? Since this film is ghost-riding on Salman's shoulders, he should take profit-sharing (if there r any.) Now, I'm also laughing. Oh, u r also laughing. V all r laughing. The situation ends on a happy note. As for the review, when the side-show is so entertaining, who asks for the story. Even with a microscope, it cannot be found. Sleep well. Sweet dreams. The "director" is also dreaming of his next blockbuster. And Dada Kondke is turning in his grave restlessly.BESHARAM = refined GRAND MASTI + OYE LUCKY LUCKY OYE +...+...+...+..................... At the end, the only thing a viewer learns is: Besharam means vulgar and not shameless. How can I get a refund on my ticket money?And Abhinav Kashyap is ready with his next package deal blockbuster called TAIN TAIN PHISH. He will repeat Ranbir, Rishi and Nitu as now they come at discounted rate. Added bonus: Bhabhi Kalki Koechlin (don't ask WHO? She was with Ranbir in YJHD) acts free(ly) of cost as family deal. Pichchar abhi baaki hai mere dost. To make the movie a sure-shot hit, another package family discount deal of Abhishek, Aishwarya, Aradhya, Amitabh and Jaya is added. Abhishek is the free part of this deal. The "director" cannot do justice to Dharam-Sunny-Bobby deal as he wants bonus deal that will be a surprise for viewers. BTW: The viewer has to pay to view this movie. What! Janata GAAYAB!!!!!