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Guddagaon Declared as a World Heritage City
George | 24 Jul 2008

State of our aFFAIRS

 

Guddagaon Declared as a World Heritage City
George 
The PA rushed into the Chief Minister’s office and excitedly showed him the National Daily, and said “Sir, very good news!”
The CM looked at the newspaper; its headline screamed ‘Guddagaon formally known as Gurgaon has been declared as World Heritage City’. He puffed up with a sense of pride.
 
Suddenly all his excited ministers trooped into his office. His political advisor, Tabelwala, cooed “Sir, you are a genius! With one master stroke you created a history! Whoever thought changing the name of Gurgaon into Guddagaon will result in this” 
Home minister chipped in and gushed “Our CM sahib is capable of transforming the world!”
CM cleared his throat and looked with disdain at his spineless wonder ministers and crisply said “We must capitalize on this in all fronts.”
 
Finance Minister, Desh ka Dakkan; immediately got up and said “Sir we will save crores of rupees as we don’t need to indulge in wasteful expenditures like road building and any infrastructure” the applause he received was far more than the one he got for his insipid budget presentation.
The Industry Minister, Tehel Sabun got up and said “Not only we must save but we must also attract huge investments. Infact sir I just received the call from the major automobile ancillary industries that they will set up car and bike ancillary units only for Guddagaon citizens!”
Everyone enthusiastically clapped at this good news and CM nodded his head in approval. “That’s good work but we must also have a vision of the future” he intoned.
 
Sabun looked happy; he had got more approval than Dakkan - that was very good!
“Yes sir, in fact I have already started talking to the tractor manufactures and they are willing to set up tractor manufacturing unit in Guddagaon”
More thunderous applause!
“Not only that honorable members! We are getting three tyre manufactures to set plants only for Guddagaon!”
Much more thunderous applause!
Desh ka Dakkan looked little peeved at the attention Sabun was getting.
 
The Agriculture Minister, Zameen ke Tara, suddenly woke up from his nap and drawled through his pan filled mouth “Who will do farming in these Gudda?”
Industry minister promptly laughed. The CM interjected “Zameen ke Tare is right, we’ve got to be practical and our initiatives have to be people oriented.”
 
Industry minister said “Sir, this is based on the study done by world renowned consulting firm Makkan Apnaji. Infact they have projected majority of citizen of Gurgaon…” He chuckles “Sir this is last years report. Anyway they have said most citizen of Gurgaon will shift to driving Tractors because all roads in Gurgaon will disappear.”
On hearing this Zameen ke tare let out a hearty laugh and from his mouth the half-chewed pan-juice sprayed out like a violent red fountain and arcs of droplets gracefully settled on Tehel Sabun’s hand. Tehel looked positively disgusted and glared at the minister.
The environment minister Hawa Hawa who sat observing said “Arrey tare be careful where you are spraying your chemicals!”
Home Minister, Adda Singh, sensing a heated argument, loudly proclaimed “CM sahib I see another great backward integration for Guddagaon”.
The CM looked with surprise towards Adda Singh and said “Backward integration? How?”
Adda Singh prattled on, “As you know sir we are opening Dharu ka Adda everywhere likewise we will promote more adda in this beautiful heritage city. Already plans are in place for Mafia Adda, Chor ka Adda-”
 
Suddenly, Information & Technology Minister; Munda Varma excitedly inturrupted “I got it sir! We will ask bigadda.com to set up their office in our Guddagaon and they can post articles on various types of Gudda and Adda’s our city!”
 
The Transportation Minister; Bituman, said “Sir I have an idea!”
Tehel Sabun quipped, “What idea? Your department will not be existing anymore!”
Bituman said “Yes I know, that’s why I would like to take charge of sports ministry which is lying vacant.”
Zameen ke Tare burst out, “What are you planning to promote? Marbles in these gudda’s?”
 
Bituman brightly chirped, “Not a bad idea we can have world competition! But what I propose is promoting Dirt bike, Safari race etc we can invite Formula 1 to use the entire Guddagaon as their race circuit! It will not only bring money but will be a great entertainment to see these world class cars going up and crashing down into pieces! Such terrain these world class drivers would have never encountered!”
 
CM said “Wah! What a brilliant idea this will keep the world press in our city all throughout the year!”  
 
The CM looked at his spineless wonder ministers, stood up, and thundered “After hearing and seeing the immense potential I propose we name our party as Gudda party which will not only be an ‘aam admi’ party but also a party with a difference. Also with so much money being saved and with so much earning potential I will give each one of you 25 crores so that you can go ahead and make your constituency into a Gudda.”
 
There was a roar of approval from the council of ministers. And so they yelled at top of their voice “Long live Guddagaon! Long live Gudda CM!”