Have you ever felt like standing at crossroads and not been able to decide what to do? Have you ever felt you are losing grip on your life?
These days I feel at crossroads when I get ready to leave for work leaving behind my 2yr old girl. So often all working mothers like me bother about how will my child manage without me; my baby needs me; how can I not be there when my baby needs me; will she eat; will she cry and the list of concerns goes on & on.This is besides the work pressure and the deadlines.
Am sure most of the working mothers feel that way and have an insane sense of guilt piling on. But I guess all of it's quite illogical and can be handled with conscious effort.
1) We always have a choice in life.
If your output at work gets affected due to this tug of war, or if your child is craving for your attention & time, then you must review the arrangements and your decisions once more. It's important to prioritise, think well and make a choice. Once you've made a choice/a decision stick to it without guilt pangs.
2) Find yourself a good day-care or baby sitter.
How good is good? A day-care or a baby sitter is not good until the time you can trust them. Specifics can be taken care of but the right intent is most critical to begin with. Any doubts around the should be addressed before putting the child into regular day-care or before leaving with baby sitter.
3) Don't over think.
Over thinking ruins natural thought process. If your child has missed on brushing her teeth at night or if your child has not finished her lunch, let it go. It's ok sometimes to just let it be as it is and not keep worrying about her hunger. If your child is hungry, he/she will ask for food. Same goes for office. If you have not been able to meet all your deadlines, its ok to let it be. Whenever you find time, just do it.
4) Let the steam out.
It's important to ensure personal time when you can indulge in something you like. It could be persuing a hobby like reading, cooking, music etc or even be sleeping without any disturbance for couple of hrs. Refreshing oneself is critical to think and work with vigour.
5) Don't expect compliments.
Genuine compliments to a mother for raising a good child and to a female worker are hard to come. Not because people don't want to but because an outsider can never stand in your shoes and understand how easy or difficult it is to be you.
Try them only if you believe it. Cheers to a happy & guilt free living!