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How to control your emotions?
Satbir Singh Bedi | 21 Sep 2013

Emotions are of two types; the positive emotions and the negative emotions. Positive emotions are those emotions the expression of which makes us feel at ease while the negative emotions are those ones whose expression makes us ill at ease.

The positive emotions are emotions of affection, arousal, confidence, contentment, courage, curiosity, ecstasy, excitement, gratitude, happiness,hope, interest, joy, love, passion, pleasure, pride, relief, satisfaction, self-confidence, trust, wonder, zeal and zest but some of these positive emotions like arousal, courage, curiosity, ecstasy, excitement, gratitude, love, passion, pride, trust and wonder have a negative tinge and we may fill ill at ease after expressing them for example, if we are aroused by a sexual passion or courage which signals physical danger or curiosity which may be taken to be intrusiveness or even ecstasy or excitement as it may be taken to be something abnormal.  Similarly, sometimes we do not express gratitude because it hurts our pride.  Also, we do not want to express our feelings of trust because we want to be cautious that we may not be taken for a ride.  So, we want to control even our positive emotions.  Of course, we always want to control our negative emotions of anger, angst, anguish, annoyance, anxiety, apathy, awe, boredom, contempt, desire, depression, despair, disappointment, disgust, distrust, dread, embarrassment, envy, fear, frustration, grief, guilt, hatred, horror, hostility, hurt, hysteria, indifference, jealousy, loathing, loneliness, lust, outrage, panic, pity, rage, regret, remorse, sadness, shame, shock, shyness, sorrow, suffering, surprise, terror and worry. However, sometimes we have to express these negative feelings of sadness, shock or sorrow etc. at the death of some near and dear one and then these emotions have a tinge of positiveness. 
 
However, it cannot be gainsaid that we want to control our emotions both positive and negative so that we do not go overboard.  Now, the question is how to control your emotions?  The method is to go back to the time when you felt the particular emotion, say of sadness or anxiety or grief or passion or lust or whatever it may be and feel it in the present as you felt at that time.  You may not be able to feel the emotion because in the case of positive emotion like laughing, some elder had advised you not to laugh or in the case of negative emotion like crying, some elder might have advised you that big boys do not cry.  This is called desensitization. Or the emotion may be too overwhelming for you to bear and you then terminate the experiment.  Do not force yourself and relax for a while.  Then again try to feel the same emotion but do not force yourself.  Repeat this experiment as many times as you can and ultimately, you will be able to control your emotions.