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Realization
Satbir Singh Bedi | 29 May 2014

I am now 68 years and 8 months old and have realised at this old age that I was clinging to the memories of the past years and scratching my old wounds which was only troubling me and none else.

All the time, I was blaming my father for his drinking sprees and gambling and not leaving me any money or property when actually he had died about 18 years ago. I was always complaining against my parents and blaming my mother for teaching me impractical things in life while my mother had died about 7 years ago. What was the use of all this complaining and blaming others when they were not even alive?
 
I have also been clinging to the ghost of 1984 genocide of Sikhs and writing various letters to various authorities for ensuring justice to the victims of the genocide.  I have now realised that the chief culprit in this genocide, Rajeev Gandhi had died long back and many more culprits were also dead.  It was no use pursuing the matter now. After nearly thirty years, the matter needed to be closed. There  was no use scratching the old wounds.
 
I realised for the first time that had my father not forced me to complete my graduation in science which I did in 7 years instead in the normal period of 4 years, I would have not been able to apply for my Assistant Grade Examination of U.P.S.C. and would have been left in the lurch.   My father had always been stressing this point when he was alive but I never paid any serious heed to him.  Now I wanted to thank my father for all that he had done for me.  I even wanted to thank my mother for all her teachings.  However, they were no longer there and I myself was on my way out for it is late in the evening of my life that I had realised all this.
 
In fact, I had realised too late that life was too short to be wasted in hanging onto outworn memories and grudges.