The Shoe Gate
shobham | 24 Feb 2014

Mr. Bhupinder Hooda has now joined the cartel of distinguished people who have had shoes thrown at them. He is in the august company of Messer Bush, Mush, RaGa, Blair, Wen Jiabao, MaMo Singh, PC ( Not Priyanka Chopra silly, our Finance Minister) AK of AAM and many more.

Though this proclivity is pan world, our Indian leaders proudly lead the rally of shoe magnate personalities.

This has relieved me of my grave worries about our National Character. WE are not only abreast of the latest Journalism techniques, we are leading.

I see many interesting situations developing:

Journalism syllabi

  • How to throw a shoe meaningfully?
  • Pros and cons about whether you throw your own or neighbour’s  shoes or should you carry extra ammunition with you along with your tape, camera and mike. 
  • Sports day will feature a shoe throwing competition.

Bonanza for Business Community

  • The Shoe companies now make shoes which are aerodynamically equipped for long throws.
  • Shoes will be graded by size and weight for purpose - political / social protest , Fun  or just Target practice
  • Buy One Get One Free for throwing offers.
  • The Local merchants announce rebate on Shoes for throwing. All mis- matched unsellable footwear is in demand.

Activists Activity

  • The Animal Right Activists -  Demand that the shoe is not made of animal leather, Human leather is fine.
  • The Reservation Activists – At least 50% of the shoe throwers and shoe targets should be from SC/ OBC/ or women, else it won’t be tolerated!
  • Why is no one throwing Chappals?  We will go to court against this discrimination.

Political Pulse

  • The Netas  put up  signs at the rally or even outside their offices, stating their and their family’s footwear numbers and requesting that only branded shoes be thrown and always in pairs.
  • Warning : Thrown shoes will not be returned! Unbranded and half pair throwers will be prosecuted.
  • As this proves elevated status politically, party cadres will be trained to throw a missile at the yet un shoed leaders.

Security solutions

  • Anybody wearing shoes will not be allowed anywhere.
  • Tender is floated outside meeting / office areas - people pay to leave their shoes/ chappals on token basis. The collection is to be used for nefarious expenses.
  • If still throwing happens thrower is caught and the other shoe is snatched to make the offering complete.   

And Bharat Sarkar can institute Juta Ratna for the most magnetic personality for footwear.