What goes around comes around
Vishnu Mohan | 29 Jan 2007
According to sociology experts, life has a funny way of balancing the scales. As the goes the apt saying- what goes around comes around too. I chanced upon an article, which highlights giving respect to elders and making them feel comfortable even if some of them are irritating in nature and demanding people. They should be made "feel loved and cared for".
According to Ms Shanti Bajpai, a first year BA student at Maitreyi College, “My grand mother lives with us and is so demanding - she calls me every two seconds and keeps coming into my room. I really love her but it gets too much at times. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt her but I need some time off to study”.
Despite the fact that joint family system has all but collapsed, we still look after our relatives and have them live with us and not the other way around.
Experts opine, if you find that your aged grandfather or grandmother is going to be staying with you because he or she can no longer look after him/herself, don’t be alarmed. “It’s tough coping with the elderly as they sometimes do get a bit cranky and difficult. But they need our love and attention more than ever,” says Kavita Sharma, Psycologist. She further adds, “If your grandparent is disturbing you by constantly calling for you or if he or she keeps invading your space, explain that you are studying and you will be there the moment you are free. Stand by this commitment so that the next time you say you will be with them in '10 minutes' he or she will know for sure that you will be there.”
According to Amit Pande, Class XII student from Kendriya Vidhyala, "my grandfather is a wonderful person - he has a lot of very interesting stories to tell as he was in the army and involved in many wars. Yes, he can be difficult at times but all he wants is some attention”. Most old people crave attention and often get peeved wen they are not in the limelight. This should be taken lightly and it is not something to get all hot and bothered about.
A question is posed by one Marcella Rosman for the youth in general, "..thus here is when I would like to point out that do elderly people deserve our respect if they continue to treat us like our opinion does not matter? Do they deserve our respect if they simply disregard our feelings especially on those that we have that sense of conviction in? It is in these situations that elders sometimes seem to have a communication breakdown with youth. Us youth want to be treated as someone with significance, someone with importance. We want what everyone wants to be treated like, a HUMAN BEING.” “We want them to hear us out, like when we listen to them. We want reasons for not agreeing and not simply shunning us when we ask for it. We want a fair hearing on decisions not an arbitrary ruling imposed on us. All this being said, we need our elders for their experience for it is invaluable to us, but I say for everyone, we youth deserve our respect and it must be pointed to the elders, you can't force respect, you got earn respect.”
According to Shanti Bajpai, “every time I go out, my grandma wants to know who I am going out with. She looks at my attire and normally always criticises it. In fact the other day things got so out of hand that even my mother, who normally stays out of the conversation, told me to go and change my clothes. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater - well, maybe it clung a bit,” she smiles. “If what you are wearing is going to cause a storm in the house - why wear it? Surely it's not a matter of one-upmanship?” questions Kavita Sharma, Psychologist.
Accoding to experts, regardless of what one sees around - good or bad - it ultimately boils down to one thing. Respect is something we owe every human being especially one who is aged. And duty is what you should do is WILLINGLY. Life has a funny way of balancing the scales. As the saying goes, "what goes around comes around" too!!!