Soumya Mukherjee | 31 Oct 2006
the article is about how the lack of emotion and bonding is eroding our relationship with near and dear people
Pujo ses oli goli/ Ma bole choli choli/ Vasan hobe fatafati/ Bijoya sarar hutopati/ Eta amader natun dhara/ SMSe Bijoya sara;
This and other similar text messages were widely circulated among the mobile subscribers during this Bijoya Dasami. Sending text messages during the festive season is on the high for the last 2-3 years, and with the service providers offering so many festive packages, it;s almost impossible to remain aloof from this growing phenomenon of greeting people by a SMS. As is clearly revealed from the message that this is the new style of greeting each other during Bijoya Dasami.
When we were younger, we saw on the day of Bijoya dasami, and a few days thereafter, the relatives and neighbors visiting each other;s house to pay a respect to the household elders with a;Pronam; . The elders will then greet with their blessings, a shed of tears of happiness, and of course with a dishful of sweets and delicious stuffs. Ghugni, Naru, Chapa Misti, Mihidana, Sitavog, Rasagolla, Nimki were among the regulars beside some exclusive special items. If you complained for your inability to gobble them up all, then a scolding was sure to come. That you have come after the Puja so you should make good use of all what has been offered to you. And in case you really failed to do so, you could well anticipate a parcel pack when you would be leaving. So after a visit to Baro Masis home, when you would go to Sibu Jathyas residence located in the same para;, the scenario would be almost similar.
But days are changing and so are our rituals and the concept of BijoyaNow people do not really cherish the idea of an anticipated visit of a;Sejo mama&; from Burdwan or;Animesh Babu; from next door. People have their commitments to the Dandiya in Netaji Indoor, or a Disco at a night club. And even if one has none, it is not rare when we hear the wife instructing her husband not to spend much on sweets and snacks for those &;shabby; relatives or the;loud-mouthed, uncultured; neighbour. These odd people, the wife knows pretty well, will turn up like greedy brats just after the &;dashami&;. And so one must not give much;patta; to those fellows. Consequently, we can well find the faithful husband avoiding his favourite sweet stall and going out in the market in search of some cheaper stuff. However unpleasant it may sound, people seldom like each other&;s company now a days. We do not like to travel a distance to the relative&;s home (not applicable to the &;natun jamai;) nor do we want them to take the trouble to come to our place. And if one is staying away from his old parents, the feelings can well be very similar! One does not want his parents to give trouble by visiting the home and behaving like a guest and there is no question of allowing them to come, because they are old people. As a good son, how can you bear their pain!!!
So, it is better and much &8216;safer&;, to send a text message to your acquaintances, the person concerned may be your friend, relative or father, it does not matter. No one has the time to write (or read) a full length letter (you can obviously show the reason of postal delay!). So just get your cell phone and type in Benglish or Hinglish and send it to 30 recipients at a time. No matter whether you are in Canada or Coimbatur, your message will be delivered to Kanchrapara. And if you are the lucky person to receive one message before you take up the pain to compose one, it&;s better, just forward it. The same message, same emotion, same feelings will be circulated to your brother right back in your home and to your boss in the office within a few seconds! Really, communication is so easy these days!
I must tell why I call this SMSing as the safest possible medium to convey to people how you really feel for them, how you love them, how you miss them and how you have remembered them in spite of busy working schedule. The receiver of the message cannot see you, and he cannot verify if your claims are true. For whenever, we talk in person, we run a definite risk of being caught at slightest chance. Here this problem is not present and the receiver understands you care for him. So immediately he will reply-&;thanx and wish u all d same 2 u;- this time you are at the receiver&;s end. So this mode of communication saves our time, energy, and money (of both sides)! So if someone down the line really, really anticipates our visit in Dashami, it is our moral duty to update him with today&;s culture. We need to make him learn it is not the fashion of the day to visit people&;s house. If an elderly uncle expects a &;pronam&;, let him get a cell phone first. He can well receive a picture message of &;Pronam&; or &;kolakuli&;. And if he cannot afford one, or cannot operate it well, then he may be sent an e-mail. And if he is not acquainted with that also, it is his fault not ours.
So kip in touch and take care&1;- with and about whom will you do so, it depends upon you, you are a free citizen after all!! Wishing the readers a heartful (read heartless) and warm(cold actually) greetings of belated Bijoya Dashami and Diwali.